May Forever
by AgxntMxy
Summary: Set in S1, Post turn turn turn. After May's deception of the Phone in the cockpit. Things take a downwards turn after coming across three simple words etched into the window of Providence. 'May is hydra' A statement that rocks the SHIELD team to the core and changes their lives as they try to bring down hydra. New faces and a death of a team mate strains them to find the truth.
1. Death

Coulson sat silently with Agent Triplett as the clouds shot past them as they made their way back towards Providence. Though it had been a bad day overall, he felt very calm about it. One good thing that had come out of it was the success of taking out Daniels, the hostile gifted...saving Audrey. He could have stayed...stayed for when she woke up… Expose himself back into her life. But he knew it wouldn't have been fair. Not to her. Not when she had finally healed from his death. One day...he could. When Audrey could understand why he never came back… He could only hope that if he did, she could forgive him for it.

Now...it did give some insight. Insight on how tied May had been on him. Doing it to protect him… just like he was protecting Audrey. Even if the circumstances were mildly different. So he knew what he'd had to do when he got back. He needed to apologise. That he owed her at the least.

Coulson barely saw them land, taking the lead from the plane to come to an abrupt stop as he noticed what was missing. The Bus. Coulson looked to the other three then took the lead out into the base but came across nothing. No Koenig, No Team...No May.

He dumped his bag down as Fitz headed to the computer. Something that would hopefully shed light on why it was so empty. Coulson knew something had happened, something that didn't sit right with him

"Found anything?" Coulson asked after a moment, folding his arms.

Fitz shook his head, "No. All security cameras have been erased as well as the hanger's motion sensor camera." He said, typing softly. "Though...we have an entry log of May leaving the base a couple hours after we left. I'm assuming she's alone but with no cameras we don't know if Skye or Ward went with her and forget to log themselves out as well."

"Koenig?" Trip asked this time.

"Likely he left with the bus. But we have nothing to go on now, sir." Fitz sighed resting back in his chair.

"Not strictly true. If the base's security had been wiped then there's foul play involved. We should search the base...maybe some clues were left." Tripp suggested.

Coulson nodded in agreement. "Good place to start. Fitz search the bunks and lockers, Simmons the corridors and other rooms, Trip can help. I'll look through the toilets." He directed, taking the lead out himself to start at the far end of the base.

It only took a few minutes in each of the few toilets he passed, some weren't even used and were spotless. As he neared the next one, he paused to listen out. A strange noise like a jammed motor So he peaked in cautiously, eyes scanning the room before falling onto the false window. Coulson glanced behind him to the corridors one to see that was day while the other was….Night?

Frowning he approached the window though it was clear to see what was causing the jam. A screwdriver had been lodged straight into its corner, preventing the window to change from picture to picture.

Coulson inhaled deeply for a moment. He didn't know what to expect but he knew he needed to be prepared to what would happen when he removed it. His fingers curled around the handle before he gently tugged. Almost immediately the new picture began to move up. His stomach turned to ice as it stopped as he read the three words engraved into the surface.

 _May is Hydra_

It felt like someone had punched in straight in his stomach. His heart hammering in his chest. Each of those words felt like that had been imprinted into his brain. He barely heard Simmons's sudden scream.

He almost didn't want to believe those written words...not when he had been so close to forgiving her...to apologise to her… But...had she really just stayed as a sleeper? To regain his trust...their friendship...make him feel bad about his behaviour?

"Sir, We found Koenig.." Trip shouted, but he stopped in the doorway of the bathroom, his breath pausing as he saw the words. But he felt the other agent grasp his arm, jerking him to moving, to get away from those words.

"Where? What happened?" Coulson demanded, his voice hard. His hands clenched tightly.

"He's dead, We've taken him to the kitchen. Simmons is going over...should narrow down on who killed him."

Coulson nodded curtly as they walked into the kitchen. His eyes went straight to Koenig's body. He could see the red lacerations around his neck so the cause of death was easy to tell.

Could May have really done this? Killed Koenig? Taken Skye or threatened Ward to leave as well. He didn't doubt her skills unless Ward was found but it had been his handwriting, meaning he had been quick to escape the base. What did May stay for if she really had been hydra? Maybe to infiltrate this group, take them all out. To end SHIELD altogether? If it had been May….What was he to do now?

Simmons straightened up as she pulled the cloth over Koenig's head, inhaling deeply. "He was killed around 10 hours ago. A small thing wire was used and the depth shows it was done in a hurry. At the angle...of the lacerations...shows the killer had to be around 5'6 or potentially taller…"

His breath caught. Agent May...in her boots she touched 5'6. He knew Skye was also taller but he doubted Skye knew how to kill someone like that. It only left two options. May and Ward. But Ward had scribbled those words into the window...quickly. The evidence now...it pointed to her.

A slow hot surge of anger washed through him, his knuckles turning white as he clenched his fists tightly. May was Hydra….

"If May has done this…." Coulson started, his voice a deadly whisper. "We need to know why she stayed."

"Sir?" Simmons asked with a wide expression.

"I found three words written in the fake window….May's Hydra…" He said, jaw tightening at even saying those words now. Both scientists eyes widened, Fitz shaking his head like he didn't believe it. "Why would a hydra agent come with us? What does she want?" he asked again, leaning against the counter.

"Well…" Simmons started after a couple of minutes, uncomfortable to start off. "She could have been after the hard-drive, since Ward was gone she'd have to wait for him to come back with it…"

"Yes but it was encrypted… May's no hacker to get past…" Trip started but trailed off as it hit him

But Coulson was two steps ahead.

May took Skye.

May came back for the hard drive...Ward had the hard drive so she had to stay with them...for Ward to come back. To play the act… Coulson had known her since the academy...he knew she could act. She had to, especially undercover. But May wouldn't have been able to get past it...not without Skye. So she took her.

"We need to find them…" He hissed. His temper high now, just as much as he was worried for Skye. They had to find her, before May or hydra did something to her.

They all jumped slightly alarms suddenly went off, Fitz immediately began to figure out why, shutting them off. "Perimeter alarm. It's…" Fitz froze, staring at the screen then sapred Coulson a glance.

Frowning Coulson moved over and started at the screen, inhlaing deeply as he saw who was there. May. His blood boiled at the sight of her.

"Scanners show she's unarmed." Fitz said quickly, unsure what to do.

"She's the cavalry, if she needs a gun, she'll take one. Let her in." Coulson growled. Picking up his gun and Icer from his pocket and dropped them on the side.. No need to give her a weapon. He had to subdue her then question her.

He didn't feel anyone follow, storming towards the entrance now at a very brisk pace. He could hear her own quick steps as he got there.

Turning the corner, Coulson didn't stop. His anger rose to something much stronger as he saw her in person. The way she walked, her expression…. It looked like the act now. Playing innocent. She didn't even had bags or a coat. Meaning she'd probably came off a jet. It was too cold to walk without them.

May seemed to pause but it didn't stop him still. He could feel adrenaline seep into his system, not hesitating to throw the first punch as she spoke, sending her stumbling back in surprise. She probably didn't think he found her out.

He attacked again. Most of his attacks she blocked but he knew her. Knew how she fought. He twisted her arm and rammed his foot straight into her side.

"Phil, what the hell are you doing?" May wheezed from the blow, her arm around her but it didn't faze him. He didn't want her to plant thoughts in his head. To make him weak for her to get the jump on him. It pissed him off

Things started to become more tunneled in his vision in his rage fighting, landing a good few more blows. He was just fighting now to bring her down. He darted forwards and pushed her back. Pressing his body against her to keep her from fight back, his hand going around her neck tightly. To keep her from trying to fight back.

"No, May, You do not get to walk back here all innocent! You lied to us, to me again!" He snarled, unable to stop himself. His vision not seeing all to clearly now, if he had he could have seen her expression shift or her face redden from the pressure he had applied around her neck though barely felt her fingers clawing to loosen his grip around her windpipe

"Ph.."

"Where is she?!" he finally shouted at her..He had to know. Had to make sure Skye was okay… "May, tell me. Where are your lot keeping her! And Ward." Coulson shook her, to stir her into answering him. It pissed him off even more….she wasn't even listening to him. His breath came out in short angry breaths. Nothing she was saying was going to be the truth. SO he stepped back straight into a defensive position but she dropped like a stone onto her side, her hair covering her face.

He waited. "I won't fall for that, Melinda. I know your tricks." He growled. Watching and waiting for her to jump up and fight like she always did. It never changed from the academy and through shield, now would not be any different. Melinda May always got up.

Again, she still didn't move.

He stepped forwards towards her, nudging her slightly with the toe of his shoe but she still didn't move so slowly he bent down slowly in case she reacted then grasped her shoulders, pushing her onto her back. Some of his fury lessened so he met no resistance as he did that, pushing back her hair though her eyes were glazed over, he just managed to see her pupils contract with the light.

"May?" He questioned, his hand moving to her neck, looking for a pulse, More concern was leaking in now, seeing much clearly now. Her eyes were bloodshot now, and he could see blood on the inside of her lips. He knew why; too more pressure could cause blood vessels to pop in gums which would bleed in response.

Coulson knew he shouldn't but let his guard down now, even though she was a traitor. He wanted to hurt her...contrian her but not… but not kill her.

"May!" The anger had gone just as well as the adrenaline, leaving him feeling cold that settled right into his stomach. "Fitz! Simmons!" He shouted as he pulled he into his arms, hoping they'd hear him but he felt the slight pulse under his fingers stop, his head turning back to her dead expression but she was gone, the weight in his arms disappearing, left holding her empty clothes in the position she died in. Leaving him stunned and confused to what the hell just happened.


	2. Death and Rebirth

Snow crunched under May's feet as she walked, her breath short but visible in the cold air. Show had seeped into her shoes and melted but she kept on at a brisk pace.

While she walked, her mind kept wandering back to Coulson. She knew the guilt she had...it had been for a reason, a cause. Even if he didn't believe her. It was clear enough he didn't want her about. Didn't need her… Or at least he didn't think he did. His emotions towards her was clear enough. Even if he hurt her. So she was leaving for him this time. He needed information she couldn't provide. Not while she was still there. She had contacts...people to get the information to him. She didn't want to stay and be permanently looked upon her teammates as a traitor...backstabber. This way...it was much easier.

May sighed deeply, pausing to a stop and set her bag down to a short break, opening it up for some water.

Out of everyone on the bus, Ward seemed like the only one that really had any understanding of why...didn't look at her with an untrusted expression. Even if he had been mad about it like the others at first. Understanding of being under orders. He was a specialist. It was their job. Even Agent Triplet was at least indifferent on her. But the others? The team she even came to...care about… they would only choose his side. Skye always did, he had been the cause of her even joining to begin knew FitzSimmons would be hesitant but in the end would choose him. Ward's loyalty on who she was uncertain about given the hydra situation.

Brushing off some snow off a rock, May sat down, a slight dent forming between her eyebrow the more she thought about it. When she had been packing, she hadn't actually heard Ward until he spoke...though even then she had been distracted thinking about Coulson. At least his presence didn't give off the vibe he didn't trust her. But something about him coming back had shifted the air around him. What changed?

A slow realization set in to May's mind, remembering the odd movement as his hands slid to his back. That movement had nothing to do with stretching or anything that was otherwise innocent. Being a spy herself. She knew placed like that would be a good place to…

She inhaled deeply.

He had a concealed weapon. If he planned to kill her, it meant one thing. He was Hydra.

May's fingers clenched around her water bottle, standing up quickly, brushing the snow off her and shoved the bottle away then immediately began to follow her trail back.

She was a good 4 hours away from the base now and she only stopped for two hours to nap briefly when night fell. 6 hours… What could have done in those hours? Koenig was no fighter. Easy to tell given he was a comms agent and his love for gamings. He was an easy target. And Skye?

She barely knew how to fight. Especially with the time she had took to recover from Quinn's bullet wounds… And Skye's basic knowledge was nothing compared to Ward's skill sets. He could kill her with just as much ease as Koenig. She felt there as a high chance koenig was probably already dead.

Her bag was starting to weigh her down as she got faster to get back, her coat hotter as well. Tossing them off to the side with her hat in her path though she'd get them at another time…once they had Skye safe. If she was still alive.

What had he even come back for? With her weight's gone, it was much easier to climb through the snowy banks now, going through her memory when she realised her trail down her been snowed over from the wind, recognising a few bits of the scenery to find her way again..

A couple hours and her heart thumping in her chest, May was relieved to see the entrance of the base, pulling off her hand and hair bobble as she approached it. She didn't know what to expect now… what she'd find left. But was Ward still there? Or had he left? Skye with him or dead? She'd soon find out.

Her eyes darted around the entrance, lingering on the red dot she knew was a concealed camera. It felt almost too long before the doors opened, relief pouring into her chest. Someone was at the base.

Hurrying forwards, May kicked the snow from her boots as she walked, pulling her hair out her bobble as it was coming out of that. Her heart picked up a little as she heard fast footsteps of someone approaching, her hands clenching together. Ward?

To her surprise it was Coulson storming around the corner. But with that, it meant...Skye wasn't here. Or if she was dead. Ward long gone too. She was too late. May's eyes travelled up his figure, noticing his posture before the expression on his face, causing her to stop in her tracks. Her stomach sank.

He hadn't forgiven her.

Easy to tell but he seemed mad...pissed off even. Was it because she came back? Did he hate her that much still? May could easily recall what he had said. Looking at her then with as much anger his face had now. Inhaling deeply she opened her mouth to speak as he approached her quickly.

"Phil, Wh-" But she couldn't finish, grunting in pain to the sudden blow to her face, stumbling back. Surprise littered over her face as she regained some bearings. He flew at her again, blocking that attack and the next one.

She yelped though as she felt his foot slam straight into an opening she left as she blocked another attack, a blinding pain washed through her, her arm coming to curl around the injury, a cracked rib? Possible.

But it showed he wasn't holding back. Her breathing became tight, and hurt with every sharp breath she took.

"Phil, what the hell are you doing?" May had to ask. Why was he attacking her? Was his hate for her so high that he was acting rashly. She managed to block a few more punches but the damage to her rib hurt every time she moved in the slightest so every move to block send shard of pain through her body, making her movements slower in comparison.

Her head cracked back though as he slammed into her, gasping at the pressure he put against her rib with his body, feeling the bone move which made her head spin. But the focus shifted as she felt his hands around her throat, keeping her head back and her breathing heavily restricted. Her hands curling around his wrist automatically.

"No, May, You do not get to walk back here all innocent! You lied to us, to me again!" He snarled. Her eyes widened as the pressure seemed to increase, gasping for breath, her fingers digging into his skin...to find some give.

Her wide eyes watched his face though, she could see his eyes that he was too into this to snap out of it… A wash of fear echoed through her body as what air flow she had was cut, the emotion watching through her face as she choked for breath. She couldn't breath…. Couldn't talk…. If he didn't let go soon… But he'd also find out that...

"Ph.." She gasped, almost wordlessly, using what breath she had in her lungs but she could feel her body's panic response now….her lungs burning for more oxygen, her neck hurt from the tightness...she could feel the pressure build up in her face and her heartbeat in her ears. She could feel a coppery taste in her mouth but had no way to spit it out or swallowing it down.

"Where is she?!" Coulson shouted to her but she couldn't focus on that. Black dots was tinkering in her vision, growing steadily bigger and bigger. She felt a wave of disorientation as he shook her but she fought the darkness….she'd black out soon enough…and there was ntoing she could do…

Her head span but felt light headed, her fingers slipping from his grip as her body stopped fighting. Giving up to him.

Coulson's words weren't clear to her as the pressire against her windpipe increased but then she felt the sudden sharp crunch and white pain as she felt something give way to his grip, her eyes widening but felt the loss of connection to her lungs. Blood pooling into the back of her throat...

May barely registered him letting go, feeling the dull pain ricochet up her body as she felt herself hit the floor, pain washing down her cheekbone when her head came into contact with the solid surface.

She couldn't breath in now. Her body becoming numb and not noticing when Coulson nudged her nor when he moved her onto her back… or when he pulled her into his arms.

May wasn't seeing him now. Her dark vision suddenly filling with flashes of memories, feeling like she was being sucked down a dark and long tunnel straight into an ice pit of water...

May jerked up, cold suddenly surrounding her, the need to intake breath, her eyes flickering open before she managed to break through the cold surface to the cold air above her. Panting deeply, her eyes flicking around while she tried to keep herself aloft. Taking in the surroundings and where was was. Confused for a long moment before she realized...

She was in a lake. A familiar but very cold lake...and a glance down told her enough. That she was stark naked as well. Crap.


	3. A small Explanation

May almost swallowed more of the lake, blinking over as she tried to regain some bearing though had to tread water to keep herself up even though each movement aggravated her side. Those injuries still there? Her throat ached as she breathed but the cool water helped sooth it. She'd have trouble speaking for a while...but that felt the least of her worries.

The few priorities she had was...where was she? And how did she get here? Let alone naked. It didn't make much sense… First things first, she would need to get out the water. Before it got to her properly. Last thing she needed to to catch a cold or pneumonia.

May began to swim towards the edge of the lake, wincing as the movement pulled on her side so it was slow going, her feet barely hitting the muddy bank under the surface when she saw what appeared to be a small family of four having a picnic not too far away. Though they hadn't noticed her yet from the lack of staring.

May stopped a moment then huffed, coughing a little. Awkward… Very awkward. Though May knew she could deal with the two adults looking at her, their two young children was a whole new thing. That was the more awkward part. Children did not need to see a woman heavily bruised and naked walk out the lake. Too many questions but she knew she couldn't stay in there much longer.

Deciding to hell with it. May began striding more up onto the bank, wrapping an arm around her breasts, her other hand over her crotch. She didn't look their way but heard one of the children laugh, pointing her out as she emerge fully from the water, thrown off a little by her weight now she was out the water but carried onto solid land pausing to only glance at the family briefly then around to find a foot path out.

However she picked up movement to see the mother of the group walk towards her. May watched the expression on the woman's face. The lines she could tell her was of annoyance but she saw the woman's expression changed a little more on closer exception.

"There are _children_ around!" The woman hissed towards her but her eyes here on her throat now.

But she was close enough to shove what looked like their picnic blanket into her hands. May wrapped it around herself, glad now to have something to over her. Inhaling a little deeply as she tightened it around herself.

"What happened to your neck? Do you need the hospital?" The woman carried on though looked like she wanted to get back to her family.

"Ph.." She coughed shaking her head. "Phone...I need...to make a call…" She wheezed, her throat hurt to talk. The woman spared a glance to her family who were all looking at them before she tugged a phone from her pocket then held it hesitantly out. May could guess she thought she was crazy, that or didn't want to get involved with anything. Reasonable enough.

Taking the phone, May immediately began to type in a phone number, the woman walking back off to her family, throwing her some looks but May was focused. She perked up with a sigh of relief when the phone picked up.

 _"Hello?"_

"Mo..m " May wheezed softly. She heard an soft relieved intake of breath.

 _"Melinda...I'm glad to hear your voice...Are you okay?"_ It took a slightly longer second to realize that of course the world would have heard about the attack on SHIELD by now.

"I'm...not good….I need you to….pick me up.." May said, sparing a look to the family not to far away.

 _"You're in Yellow Creek State Park's lake, aren't you?_ " There was an edge to the tone which made her frown but..

"How would….you know?...I don't know...myself.." May tried to talk harder but it strung. So she was limited. But she couldn't deny the fact her mother knew where she was and she didn't. Which meant her mother knew something she didn't

 _"Look, Get something to cover yourself for now, It's a long drive...you can start making your way down. I'll bring some clothes...are you hurt?"_ The question was ignored.

"Mom...Tell me what's going on…" May could feel her patience was wearing thing.

 _"When I get there. Probably in an hour or two…"_ May could pick up the sounds of Keys then the roar of the ignition.

"Mom!" May coughed, irritant in her tone.

 _"No, Melinda, Trust me, Find yourself a place to settle along the footpath. But somewhere where a car can reach. It'll give you some time to... adjust."_

"That doesn't make-" The line died promptly, "...sense.." May finished quietly, looking to the screen that her mom hung up. Annoyed, May quickly deleted the call log from the phone and walk back over to the woman, tossing her phone back before walking past them all.

It was an easy track to follow, the grass she walked on got more and more neat which showed it was kept regularly. Seeing not to far ahead was the track getting wider, May decided to stop, heading over to an old bench that wasn't kept as well. It was something at the least and it gave her more cover from the main road through the park.

Lowering herself down with a hiss before sitting back. Inhaling shallowly and let her eyes closed. Her mother was right...May had no idea what had happened, not until she got those answers from her but...it had all happened so fast. SHe hadn't thought about it since...emerging from that lake...and the reasons why?

It was almost hard to even wrap her head around the fact that coulson… Her breath paused. That Coulson was prepared to use violent means to get information... The fact he killed her over it. Her mind lingered on that fact blankly for a moment before any real emotion seemed to really come through.

 _Coulson killed her._

He killed her in cold blood. Intentional or not, harm was intended. Did he honestly think she was still a backstabber….a traitor...again. She had tried! Tried to help. Futile...evidently. He hadn't and wouldn't forgive her. What caused his hate to be riled up so much…

Could she really risk facing him in person again? Sure, he had quicker means to kill her…But it hurt. Not just physically. He chose to believe she was a traitor. Chose to ignore their history...the academy….ops, even how Bahrain affected her….

How could she trust him now? Did he even _care_ that he done it?

May hoped so, or at least deep down under his hate that he did. No doubt he had no idea what the hell had happened when she died. Did she disappear or was he stuck with a dead body of hers? The first seemed more hopeful and likely. If he had cares…..cared enough to regret it...that stopped him grieving over a body.

May sat deeply in thought for a long while, a few tears did escape down her cheeks as her mind got deeper in thinking. Barely hearing the SUV Pull up. Flinching and grabbing the wrist before she realised who it was.

Her mom, she remembered was not a fan of hugs or affectionate displayed but she felt her pull her into a hug. Staying motionless for a long moment before she wrapped her arms around her back, her eyes welling up again. She gasped slightly as her mom put too much pressure onto her side but though that loosened up, the gesture did provide some comfort at the least before she pulled back.

May's eyes watched her mother's face, the lines and creases of her frown as she saw the bruises around her neck. She didn't say anything but she didn't need like. Like her.

May stood up, letting her mom take the lead, though went to the back seats then the passenger side. She knew to expect the bag with clothes in and the front had clear glass and little space which was not suitable. The back was better with it's tinted windows and bigger space. She dug through the bag, pulling out some underwear, pulling them on as her mom set off. Shredding the blanket for her shirt, holding her breath tightly as she pulled it over her head.

"There's a medical kit in the bag as well." Her mother said after a moment.

May found the kit but waited till she had some pants on to open it up. She settled for the painkillers before dealing with her rib. There was a bottle of water at the bottom of the first bag, taking a swig of that and swallowed the pills down, almost coughing at the horrible sensation of even swallowing.

"Thank..you." She said after a moment, settling back into her seat. Her mother's eyes looked to her for a long moment in the mirror then away.

"You should sleep."

May shook her head. "No...you prom..ised you'd..tell me.."

"Yes, I would but you're hardly in the state to even comprehend it. Go to sleep."

"Mom."

"Melinda. You were killed and reborn in a lake. There are gonna be after effect and you won't be able to fully understand what I will tell you when you're exhausted, injured and recovering. Go. To. Sleep." Her mother's tone hardened to one she remembered all too well as a child, folding her arms and passed a dirty look, trying to ignore the fact she was exhausted. 8 hours of walking then what happened… it had left her wiped out. Even in her standards.

"F..ine." She croaked leaning back in her seat but with the pain killers kicking in, it only took a couple of minutes to drop off.

May jerked awake as she felt the car slow to a stop, her eyes flickering around on high alert before she relaxed, jumping out the car to realise she was still barefoot. But she was a her mom's house now, slamming the door behind her before walking into her house, wiping her feet on the mat and went straight to the kitchen after her mom.

"Now?" She asked, her voice sounding better than it actually was.

Sighing deeply, her mom took a seat at the small table, producing a book from the shelf off the side. May's eyes lingered on the cover, recognizing it as a photo album. Her mom opened it up, opening the pages to four pictures of her by the lakes she had...emerged from. Not a coincidence there. .

"It's...hard to even explain. Me and your father don't know...much on your condition or where it came from."

"Dad know?" Her eyebrow shot up but she should have expected that at the least. Of course he would know something was different. Them but not her. "What is it?"

"We don't know. "

May's expression didn't change from her annoyed expression.

"Melinda. Everything was fine. My pregnancy with you was normal. 9 months. I kept to an average diet and gave birth to a healthy baby girl. No complications. Simple." Her mom inhaled deeply, leaning forwards in her chair.

"But...we moved to the US when you were one. It was a hard adjustments. So on your 4th birthday...we don't expect you to remember what happened given how young you were, we went to visit the duck in the lakes to celebrate with a picnic. You liked feeding them. But...you wandered off from your father. I was coming back from the toilets. You got excited when you saw me so you ran ….but you ran straight across the road towards me…" She shook her head, closing her eyes but she inhaled deeply. "You ran into a path of a speeding jeep…."

May inhaled sharply, her eyes widening more but listened with all her attention, her eyes feeling hot and wet at hearing what she was saying.

"You flew back...I don't even know. But you were so small...fragile. How could a small little girl survive an impact like that?"

"I didn't…." May whispered.

Her mom shook her head. "It was possible you were still alive when you hit the ground...but you wouldn't have lived long. This woman reached you first...I don't even know what she looked like or what she did but she seemed just as horrified as the few families that came running to help. Then...you were gone. We couldn't find you anywhere. Your father was horrified that he let you out his sight, he was prepared to spend days...trying to find out what happened…"

Her mom wiped her eyes. "But….one night we got a call from the woman, that she found our daugher wandering next to the lake shore. No clothes on, soaking wet and covered in bruises… as if she had been hit with a car…. wanting her mom and dad. We couldn't believe it. We didn't... I didn't. Until your father decided to go and see. His guilt...he needed to know."

May swallowed with a shallow sigh, looking down at her hands. "Why...didn't you tell me?"

Her mom's eyes flicked to her face. "We didn't know if it was a one time thing….that it can only happen once… But we wanted you to have a normal life. I didn't want to tell you and you to get careless with your life. We would have told you when you were 18. I knew you had every right to know at that point but the you decided to go to SHIELD academy. I wasn't a SHIELD agent but I knew their policies on Enhanced or powered people. You found friends, but i knew if i told you, you would have told them. You'd have been listed as a powered person but how could they prove it? They'd shoot you to see for themselves. We didn't want to expose you to that, especially if it had been one time thing."

May stayed silent breathing calmly but her heart fluttered in her chest from this absurd wave of information…

"I'm..so sorry, Melinda….that we didn't tell you. But you have to believe that we didn't with best intentions.."

And she could. There was no malice in it... withholding it. It made sense...to protect her. Like she had protected Coulson. The shock of all of it...how could her parents go through it again if she willing stepped in and took a bullet to the heart for her colleagues? Knowing she'd have only one death in SHIELD before she'd be forced to a different job to stay protected from them. From experimentation… interrogation… having to live with a constant cover and lies.

Ignorance was bliss.

Silently, May stood and walked over to her mother, looking down to her for a long moment then pulled her into a hug, regardless of the pain that reawakened down her side.

"It's okay, Mom..." She whispered softly. "I forgive you…"


	4. Getting to Work

Coulson stared down to the clothes he was holding, not quite believing what had happened. How could he? He had just killed a woman he had considered up until earlier a friend and ally to traitor. Yet she had gone. It proposed a fact that maybe she had more tricks up her sleeve but could he really still believe she betrayed them still? Dead or not…

He didn't know what to believe. There was a lot going on but he didn't have the time to dwell on anything. Skye was still the priority. And May was guilty until proven guilty, it was easier to think strategically like that then consider May a friend he murdered. He didn't need the grief and emotions to cloud him if she hadn't been hydra.

His head turned as the two called was followed by Trip. Simmon's looking exceptionally pale and holding a medical kit but both stopped short seeing that May was in fact no longer here.

"Where she go, sir? I thought you had her pinned?" Trip asked, a frowning dent between his eyebrows at the pile of clothing he had.

"I don't know…" Coulson said honest. "I thought...I killed her…" All their eyes widened at that He gave them a look, "I didn't mean to! But her death does not prove anything. Until we know otherwise, she's still hydra. I won't let this distract me but we need to find Skye. There's a chance hydra has her so we need to get moving. Fitz, I need you to go over the computers, see if you can track the plane. SImmons, I need you to get our stuff together and put Koenig's body into the morgue… and yes. We have one in this base." He added to answer Fitz's look.

"And me sir?" Trip asked

"I want you to go over fortifications, make sure this base is secure. If May is hydea then they might know where this place is. If that's the case then we need to send data to a new secure server. If we have to, we need to burn the place. And get the place ready to go once we have Skye's location."

"Copy that, sir." He said though watched as Fitz and Simmons exited, leaving him alone with Trip who's eyes darted down to her clothes. Coulson could read that Trip wasn't a believer in May's hydra theory.

"A problem, Agent Triplett?" He asked after a moment, scoping up May's clothes into one bundle.

"I'm just concerned." Trip replied, "What if May wasn't hydra?"

"I'm not choosing to believe that theory." He rebuffed, "We're on a man hunt for Skye and Ward, and we need to find them. I've known May a long time but I cannot afford the distractions. Not with Skye or Ward on the line. We don't have the time. If I know I killed an Innocent woman I've known for decades then I will freak out and I will be distracted. Until proven otherwise. May is hydra." He said. His voice very stern but the message was across.

Trip nodded after a moment then walked way to do his job.

Inhaling deeply, Coulson set off, grabbing a bag and deposited May's clothes into it. He hoped that maybe after all this, they could find some clue on how May's body vanished. He tossed the bag to be packed up with the rest of their stuff and went to find Fitz.

"Got anything yet?" He asked, folding his arms.

"No, though the communication lines will be online once I reconnect them, then we can track the plane" Fitz said, pulling some wires from a draw, pulling away the cut ones.

"How long?"

"6 minutes at best."

"I'll get Trip to get the plane ready. Once we have to location, we have to go." Coulson decided, folding his arms

"Right, Sir." Fitz said, glancing up to him but his posture, like Trips looked like he wanted to say something. He knew of course killing May was not good on Fitz conscious, even if he had been frosty towards her, especially after the fact she almost shot him twice in the cargo hold with an ICER.

"If you're going to make a comment on May then-"

"That's not what bothering me sir!" Fitz interrupted quickly. "I don't want to jump to conclusions on who' hydra and who's not. We all know Skye isn't...and hydra came for her but what if there was...a second mole on our plane."

Coulson's eyes narrowed shrewdly. "Excuse me?"

Ftzz paused what he was doing. "Just a thought after you…"

"Fitz." He warned.

"Look, May waited for Ward. If she was the first mole to keep an eye on you...What if he's the second...he's a specialist who's been with Garret for god knows how long. He could have taken the Bus while.. was lured out."

Coulson did not like what he was saying. Not because it had logic but...another mole. But he knew he had to take it seriously. Two moles. Or one had been made to look like one.

"Okay. If we go by that logic then it makes more sense on the bus, Unless Skye hacked the Auto pilot."

"Yeah and if Ward is hydra, then Skye would know...but she could be playing him just as much.." Fitz said, beginning to hurry in his work to finish up patching the system

"Then we need to get to her before Ward figures out she'd playing him." Coulson agreed, heading to the door but the computer jumped more into life, Fitz hurrying to check the lines.

"We got it!" Fitx declared after a moment

"Where?"

"Los Angeles."

Coulson jogged off at that, feeling the need to pick the pace up now, Fitz hurrying to catch up with him .

He knew Los Angele wasn't a coincidence. Skye chose that for a reason and if their plane was fast enough then they could get there in record timing and before Skye decrypted the drive. Then they could concentrate on the bigger picture they faced.

If Ward was hydra….Agent Hand was dead, Garrett was alive and setting up shop somewhere. Something they needed to stamp out before Garrett would raise a new Hydra Head. WIth the fridge fallen, then they had plenty of weaponry against them so they needed to be smart about it.

"We're setting off, Trip get the plane ready. Ftz, get some weaponry on it." He called through, running a few scenarios on how to deal with the situation now. Good and bad.

If May had been on their side and...alive. It'd be much easier to take on what forces Hydra had. She had been a force to be reckoned with. But he didn't want to focus on what he didn't have...

If Ward was alone, he'd be easier to catch and contain too question. He he wasn't...they'd have to take out the rest of the competition. So it was a relief that the base held weaponry and Fitz's mind. Even as small as they were, they were scrappy enough to put up the challenge. Even if they had to grab Skye and go then it'd give them a much bigger chance to beat back.

It only took 10 painfully longs minutes before the plane was loaded and in flight. Loading up two ICERS and guns into holters for everyone. They needed to be armed if they hydra agents came across them, Fitz and Simmons, they could be underestimated. Coulson remembered that Fitz had shot a hydra agent in a clean manner from under the desk. So he had potential if the time called for it.

"We don't know what we're walking into her, So we need to be prepared for More than Ward. We can get out hands on a vehicle..we can stock more weapons close by." Coulson started. "That can be used as a quick getaway."

"So a grab Skye and go." Trip clarified.

"Exactly. We're vastly outnumbered but...if we do this right, we have a much greater chance at beating them once we have Skye."

"What about the Bus?"

"We can afford to lose it for now. We don't have the time to get it but we can do at a later date with much more planning."

"I have some of my Grandfather's 1940s Howling commando's kit we can use. Once we get Skye I can detour and get it." Trip brought up after a moment, sliding a gun into the back of his trousers.

"Good, We may need it." Coulson nodded. He wouldn't deny that he might have gotten a little excited on that bit. 1940s technology. Going back to basics like that would also be an advantage as well.

"FItz, can you track a more precise location on where Skye could most likely have taken Ward?" Trip asked after a moment

"No, We don't have that technology but we can use what we do know about SKye. She'd not have taken him some place random. Some place with...some sense of meaning. She chose LA for a reason, we need to work out where from that."

"That's where we first met her. Union station, that alley where she had to go with...May to unlock the data we needed on centipede." SImmons suggested, lingering of May's name for longer than necessary, making him raise an eyebrow at her to carry on. He didn't need that, not now..

"Alley is our first choice. " Coulson decided. And it made sense, though he hoped Ward hadn't found that connection just yet, even if Skye gave him a reason for the location.

Trip disappeared after a moment to check on the plane, leaving a heavy ilsence behind them.

 _"Touch down in 30 mins."_


	5. Maria

May turned the pages slowly, her eyes lingering on each picture of her 4th birthday till there was an abrupt stop of pictures. No evening pictures of her and her cake, no party pictures or anything . She had wondered why ages ago but at the time she only assumed the camera had run out of film so they couldn't take any more, so she hadn't questioned it much.

But it made sense and knowing now… but she didn't find any regrets not knowing. Her mom was right. If Coulson knew she could have or has done in response to death then what would he have done instead. Beaten her black and blue before dragging her off to a cell… Or if it had been on purpose, get on a jet to to her place of rebirth to lock her up. If he had really been pissed off...would he have given her some clothes?

Probably...probably not. But despite anything, May knew Simmons probably would out of pity. Or Trip. He respected women, even if he thought she was...a traitor like the rest of the, he knew her before he found out as well.

May was alone now.

Her mother had gone for a short break from her which she understood but she also saw a metal canister she had packed up in the car. May could only imagine that was to go in the lake for her if she was to die again and she'd have access to clothes and a cell phone. She appreciated it. With Hydra about...it was something she'd need incase she had to jump in front of a bullet. Even if she didn't know how many times she could do it, she was willing to do it.

For her team.

 _If_ they still wanted her... or _if_ she could tolerate being around Coulson. Mays fingers drifted over the sensitive skin of her throat. A firm reminder.

But she just couldn't sit around…waiting for hydra...or in fear of Coulson and what he would do. But she could work a distance… Keep a safe distance while finishing off Fury's orders… If she couldn't then….she didn't know what to do.

May sighed gruffly and slammed the album shut and headed up the stairs. A headache forming already and she still felt tired… but she didn't have _time_ to sleep…

Opening the door, May stopped and sighed deeply, looking around the room. It had once been hers but when she left home, it was obvious it had been transformed into a guest one. All of her childhood stuff, as expected, wasn't really here but May could see a couple of boxes under the bed. Stuff she knew she didn't need.

Walking over to the wardrobe, May opened it up, looking at the bottom of it. As she thought, there were a few duffle bags, Pulling one large one out, she dumped it onto the bed then began to look through the wardrobe for any plane clothes she could use. It was minimal, but May was pleased at the least have have the basics there. PJs, Jeans, Linen and cotton shirts.

She also packed a spare toothbrush, toothpaste and a wash kit. Opening the last draw, My raised and eyebrow to see a SHIELD standard gun. Picking it up, May opened up the magazine.

Loaded.

But she wasn't going to complain. It was something. Slipping that into her bag, she headed down to pack some water and a snack then headed to the door as it opened, making her stop in step.

"Leaving so soon?" Her mom said after a moment, eyeing the bag but not surprised.

"You know..I can't stay." May rasped after a moment.

"I know, To be honest, I expected you to be long gone before i got back." She brushed past her. May sighed, putting her bag down in the hall and followed after her. "Regardless...I got you a few things for your neck. Concealer, throat soothers and skin lotion." A small bag was held out to her, making her sigh but reached out for it anyway.

"Mom, You don't...have to." May answered, taking a peek into it.

"But I have. Your choice to use them but that bruise is going to pick up notice and it'll heal better with care. If you wait then you can borrow your old car in the garage. Full tank."

"How are you still prepared?" She frowned but none the less, not that shocked but surprised.

"I may be retired but I still have habits."

"And contacts?" May asked after a moment, a thought springing to her. Her mom met her eyes then nodded. "I need to...find Maria." she coughed a little, throat irritant still.

Her Mom sighed deeply, putting the few rest of her bags on the table. "I'll see what I can do." Was the answer May got before she walked out the room. leaving her alone.

Sighing deeply, she made her way over to the table, taking a look into the other bags before deciding to unpack them. To burn time. Flicking the kettle on, May made up two teas as she went. Almost choking on the drink as she sipped it, it felt like it was burning as it went down so she left it to cool and sat down.

If she could get to Maria, it'd be a good thing. She'd get more truth and a way to get Coulson the information he'd need without making direct contact. Maira had lots of ties, with Starks contacts as well. No doubt now if she needed to get out a situation, suicide was a way out. Though was it always going to be the same lake? Or just the same amount of water needed for her? People would assume she was a skinny dipper… it'd be better if that part of the lake was...secured at the least. Something she had to tell and discuss with Maria.

Her head turned as she heard her mother's feet. "It wasn't easy but… you have an opening to her." She stated, holding out an envelope to her. May nodded, taking it from her with a sigh.

"Thank..you…"

"Now, if you end up getting killed again, and I'm sure you know, I have a kit that's waiting. Clothes, a towel shoes, a phone and some money. If I get a text then I'll have another to drop off, now that you know...it may be a frequent thing."

"Mom.." May sighed though she had a point. That explained why there was a lot more if her clothes in the house

"Now, If you're going to go, then do so. As I said, you have a short window to intercept Maria." Her mom reminded, though May knew she was welcomed to stay, it was time to go if she was to get to Maria.

"Okay. I'll call you once...I've got a vague idea on..what I'm going to do."

"You plan to come back?" There was a surprise element in her mom's tone.

"If I'm always going to be back here if I die, then I might as...well come and go more frequently. I don't want to pick up notice...too much but I need some place to hide out that's not going to be on anyone's radar."

"Not If Coulson comes around here to tell me of your death." Her mom reminded, making her stiffen a little at the topic. May had told her mom who killed her, suffice to say, she was not impressed.

"We're both spies, I'll keep my stuff...contained to my old room, left like..a guest room." Which was always how she planned to leave it. Knowing she didn't need to say much else, May moved out; heading back to her bags. Picking up the set of keys she recognised, she then headed to the door while pulling up her hood and headed into the garage.

 ****

 **It had been a long drive down, 6 hours drive which included the tolls and the traffic. It had grown dark again, which work in her favour and May knew she was close to her window time frame. Her Mom's contacts did pay up on timings and Mara's location would be. It'd be close but enough time.**

Leaving her stuff in the car, she parked up in a safe area then headed down, watching as she finally saw Maria exit. It wasn't hard to figure out the looks out, knocking the male walking behind her out, darting to the yeppy then the homeless guy, heading straight into the alley way, a hunch that Maria would come down.

She was right, though armed.

"Maria.." She rasped, as Maira spun around to face her, gun raised. "Time...we talked."

 _ **Hm...I'm not sure about this chapter atm. If I don't like it then I'll re-write it. It's just because it's been a couple weeks since i last posted then i'm putting this up now. Please leave a comment, very much appreciated XD**_


	6. Nightmare

"May." Maria sighed, relieved. Lowering her gun and slipping it into the back of her trousers. "A phone call would have done it, but I appreciate the discretion."

"But it doesn't...give us a lot..of time.." May answered speaking much louder given their outside location but it strained.

Maria's eyes darted to her neck, the dark bruising. "Are you okay? What happened?"

"Coulson." May answered, "He thought I was a traitor...for keeping an eye on..him..Withholding on..tahiti.."

Maria frowned but didn't press much on it, yet. "What does he know?"

"Most..of it. Alien Biology, Memory...replacement.." May answered. "But...I need Intel…to help"

"On which part? Fury buried a lot of things."

"Who directed the...project.." May started. "I need to know...if hydra had anything..to do with it."

Maria nodded, folding her arms. "Where is he?"

"I'll tell you once i get the intel." May answered, her tone shifting. Maira noticed of course.

"You don't want to give it to him, do you?" There was a tone in Maria's as if guessing.

"He _killed_ me, Maria...He thinks I'm dead."

"Excuse me?" The look on her face was odd, not quite understanding. Something May expected

May huffed, looking about for a moment. "I don't know how...or why… But I came back. Coulson had new motive. He hated me in that moment when i came back. He didn't intend to strangle me...but he fractured a rib to contain me.." Her hand drifted to her side, her mother had tended to it to make it easier for herself. "He went too far."

"How did you get here? If your died there?"

"I was...reborn, i guess.. Yellow Creek State Park's lake. This is only the second time I've come back."

"The first?" Mara's eyebrow was raised.

"I don't remember. Four years old. Got hit by a speeding jeep... My parents didn't tell me with reasons. A Good thing, now that...I think about it."

Maria nodded but had the frown on her face, looking at her properly. "What do you need me to do?"

"I'll get the intel, You get it to Coulson."

"It won't be easy, May. I'm watched like a hawk. I can't do something like that just because you're uncomfortable."

"Maria. I _need_ help." May admitted, the reaction absolute. May knew she never asked for help unless she had to. Maria knew that. "I watched his face, Maria, that hate…. Even killing me might not have convinced him I'm not...hydra. He could do it again... And I _felt every..thing._ He wouldn't let me speak…or move. It was...callous." her fingers went to her neck. The colour of the bruises did show how hard he put to do it. "It hurts, and...not just..physically."

Maria remained silent, looking away for a long moment.

"I can set up a system. I can't been seen at drop-stops to meet up. I can... _once_ things are smoother and once I can communicate, a video-conference." Maria said after a moment.

"Stark can give you what you need. Now that your work there," May's tone shifted again, not quite disapproving.

"Yes. He's got me covered, I can't be touched with his army of lawyers."

"Good. I'll need to work under an Alias. Can you find a way to secure the lake? I think it'll always be that lake."

"I'll talk to Tony but He'll need a reason… but it'll take some time."

"Tell him. He'll only be suspicious.. if it's kept from him." May said, though as much as she didn't want many people to know, with Stark backing her in that area then it would help.

Maria nodded after a moment but her head jerked up. Sirens were getting louder from the uiet distance. "Look, I asked Fury where the intel would be. He told me he'd bury that intel, when he decided not to bury Coulson. _His_ words, not mine." Maria added quickly seeing May's expression.

"It would be easier to ask Fury." May hinted. She didn't want to believe Fury was dead but she knew if he was, Maria would know.

"Nick Fury's dead." Maria answered but the expression in her tone said something else, making her smirk briefly.

"Good to know." She answered but hearing the sounds of the tires screech made her move.

Not needing to get caught, May took her leave down the dark Alley. Hearing the few men shouting to Maria to drop her weapon. She easily scaled a few feet and over the fence, landing on her feet and carried towards the exit of the alley. Once out, she walked normally to blend in.

She had something to go on now, a riddle. But given it was from Fury, it had logic and sense in a twisted way. Something she knew she could figure out. May could only hope that Coulson would get to Skye while she figured that out.

Her mind whirled more as she thought on the riddle. _'He'd bury the intel when he decided not to bury Coulson.'_ Her fingers found the cold metal of her car door handle, yanking it towards her open then sliding into it with a deep sigh. Sitting in it for a long moment before she twisted the key into the ignition, setting off down the darkened streets.

It all felt like a blur, it shouldn't have but it had, pulling up into a motel. It was an exhausting day. She had to sleep.

It had been easy to get a room, checking it over to entrances and exits, shutting the window tightly, putting her gun under the pillow before changing and going through her routine, keeping everything in her duffle as she settled to sleep.

As she flicked out the lights, her mind wandered back again through the darkness, gazing up to the ceiling.

 _'He'd bury the intel when he decided not to bury Coulson.'_

Those words echoed through her brain, her eyes drifting to cut out the light.

 _'He'd bury the intel…_

A fuzzy sleepy haze seemed to loosen her arms, settling her...

 _'...not to bury Coulson….'_

Her breathing calmed… unkowling drifting off….

 _May's eyes flickered open with a start, suddenly releasing for a moment she was laying on the floor. A quick inspection made her realise it was the providence base's floor._

 _She was on her feet the next second, she felt an odd pressure on her side but a noise caught her attention, She turned, almost jumping in surprise to see Coulson, Tripp and FitzSimmons suddenly in the previous vacant Corridor._

 _"Coulson, What are you doing here? We have to get Skye." May stated._

 _"You sold me out, May." Coulson said, sudden anger in his eyes, pushing her back into the wall like had done when he had killed her. Her hand came to his chest, holding him back. "You sold_ ** _her_** _out!" he pushed against her hand so her arm was trapped between them, pressing her right into the solid surface as well._

 _"Phil?!" her eyes widening but the scenery suddenly changed around them . May managed to get a glimpse around her of a cemetery, but her focus was to the grave stone. It read;_

Phil Coulson

 _Then suddenly the ground in front of it opened up, the grass and dirt falling away leaving a hollow hole, the bottom filled with dark waters. But her attention was drawn suddenly as she felt the tight grip around her neck, her eyes going back to coulson. HIs expression was cold, full of hate. Her air flow was cut, her fingernails biting into his hand. Panic immediately flooded her system, his grip increasing the more she wiggled. She felt his other hand clamp around her throat, the world moving a little before she realised he was pushing her towards the hallowed grave. Her grave._

 _"Phil…" She rasped, the ground gone under her feet as she dangled but he wasn't letting go. Why wasn't he letting her go.._

 _"Traitor.." His hissed, the pressing increasing impossibly. "I'm glad you're Dea-_

May gasped sharply, waking up with a start. Panting for breath. Cold sweat sticking her hair to her skin, her Pjs soaked through. Her heart hammered in her chest. Her hand shakily going to her neck, breathing in and out, reminding herself that it had only been a dream. A nightmare.

May could almost feel the pressure that had been there...her throat felt raw as she breathed fast. But May knew there was no pressure there...her memory of that feeling was just lingering…

May knew she should have expected a reaction at the least. After Bahrain she had constant nightmares of the little girl...coming after her...or killing her team. Getting killed like that… Of course she'd relive her death in her unconscious state. Why wouldn't she?

Slipping out the bed, she stripped off her clothes and walked into the bathroom and flicked on the shower. Would she re-live her deaths in her sleep? Haunted by Coulson's hate, her last memories of him… to watch and feel him kill her over and over again.

Her mind touched briefly on the grave as she waited for the water to heat up. The grave she would have fallen down. Coulson's _Empty_ one…

A thought suddenly hit her.

 _The intel was in Coulson's grave_.


	7. Skye

Taking a lead while trying to look inconspicuous while also trying to stay out of sight incase Ward was by a window was harder than it looked. Only de-touring once on the way to the Alley to get a large coat with a hood. His suit was way too obvious in a Specialist's eye if he looked out the window. If Ward _was_ Hydra, then him seeing them would put Skye in more danger than she already was.

Trip was taking a different route with Simmons. They were checking the alley while Fitz was in him scouting about.

" _Alley's empty, sir."_ Trip called through. " _But it's connected to a restaurant, We should check out out."_

Coulson sighed, disheartened but there was time…. If Skye could hold out longer.

"Copy that. Me and Fitz will take point. You get around the back" Coulson answered, He nodded to Fitz before taking the lead but there was a sudden commotion, making him pause as he picked up the sounds of a scuffle and smashing from within a distant diner.

"Skye!" He breathed, taking off towards the sounds, he could hear the others converging on the sounds as well. His eyes just managed to see her run, straight towards the police. She hadn't seen them. They didn't do anything until she shoved them, pinning her on the trunk to handcuff her

"Skye!"

Shots policemen suddenly let go and fell to the ground, His heart stopped for a second but Skye had moved fast, jumping into the front of the police car. She could get away!

"Sir, Ward's in sight!" Trip called through but Coulson's eyes watched as she shot off but his vision picked a moving shadow up, his head just turning to see a figure jump onto the bonnet of the car.

"NO!"

But it was too late. The police car took a sharp turn to dislodge Deathlok but he had smashed his way in, falling out of sight.

" _Sir, Ward's gone, Took a short cut out, Sir, Sir!"_ Trip called. Pulling him back to focus sharply

"Deathlok's taken Skye, We need to get in the air before they do!" Coulson called through desperately, taking off with Fitz.

It took longer than it should have to get to the plane. Shrugging off his coat now it was useless and went for the bullet proof vest.

"W-what's... the plan…." Simmons asked breathlessly, her hand over her side.

"We need to get to Skye...before the plane takes off. Trip you can fly but I can sneak onto the bus without being detected if you distract Ward from taking off long enough. With Deathlok, I can't take the plane."

"Right.." Simmons wasn't 100% convinced but with little time, it was something she'd agree to for Skye.

"Fitz, you can talk to Ward as well, he'll give a lot more answers with you." Coulson carried on, pulling out his gun and slipped it into his holter.

Fitz had moved, to a laptop, opening up. "Sir, the bus is getting onto the runway, You need to hide soon if you want to get on."

Grateful for the update, Coulson opened the hanger and slipped out, jogging off to the side, watching as the plane closed up and moved to cut off the Bus's movements, getting lower into a small ditch as the bus rolled just a little past him and to a stop.

Heart hammering in his chest, he pushed himself up off the grass ad onto the tarmac, heading straight to the large wheel. Not going for the rubber, he began to clamber onto the metal framework, the cold of it and the sharp edged almost made him slip but just as he clambered into the wheel way, the egins began to whirl then the wheels began to retract, He pressed himself back, holding his breath as it shut closed. The space very tight but not wanting to waste time, Coulson slowly began to make his way through the maintenance hatch.

He coughed as he went, the dusty air finding it way into his lungs but he wiggled on. His sight was limited by the blackness but he could see two white dots. White dots ment he was nearing a hatch, his fingers brushed the top, pausing to listen out for any movement before he pushed it up, and quickly swept his eyes over the lab and slid out, brushing off some of the dirt as he crept through the plane, gun out, silently walking up the spiral stairs as possible.

It was a relief through, but it meant Skye would only be in one place on the bus. If that was clear, he could get in and out the Bus with Skye unnoticed. Trying not to think unrealistic, he headed towards the interrogation room and opened it.

A breath of relief spread through him as he saw Skye, sitting at the table. Her brown eyes widened before she flew at him. Relieved.

"On my god!" She breathed. His arms wrapping around her.

"Are you okay?" he asked, "Did Ward hurt you?"

"No, I'm fine, but the harddrive, I unlocked it for them." Skye answered, worry in her expression as she pulled back.

"Forget that for now, We have to move." He said, nodding her to follow him but came to a stop as he saw a familiar figure standing between the sofas, his gun pointing towards him

"Ward." hissed Coulson, pushing Skye behind him but his gun into her hand out of Ward's sight.

"Leaving so soon?" Ward answered, his tone light but annoyed.

"Skye, get to the cargo hold, open it up." Coulson ordered.

"What about you?"

"I can handle Ward, now _go_." His tone left no room for her to argue, Watching as Ward's eyes watched her leave before straight back to him.

"We got the hard drive open now, Coulson. You can't win."

"Doesn't matter," Coulson answered. "You don't get Skye. She'll be off the plane soon."

"I doubt that, Coulson." Ward answered, "So. How's Agent May?"

The sudden change of topic made him frown. WHy would he ask about her? "Excuse me?"

"How's Agent May?" There was something in his expression he couldn't pick out. Like he knew something

"I think you'd know better." Coulson said, staying focused. He knew Ward was trying to turn the table. To distract "She was one of you after all."

Ward actually laughed. "Melinda May, The Cavalry, a Hydra agent?" He shook his head . "No, Phil. She wasn't one of us."

"What?!" That threw him off, hitting a sudden off emotion in his chest which felt cold. He didn't comprehend all. Not wanting to believe that,

"Oh, You still thought she was a traitor?" There was a glint in Ward's eye, like he was enjoying the conversation "She'd _dead_ , isn't she?"

Coulson didn't answer Ward, trying to keep composure.

"It wasn't hard to set it up, Coulson, You hated her enough to look past a fewcshaky details that could have saved her. "

"Koenig was killed by someone shorter." Coulson argued, shaking his head

"No, I did that. I knew the angle would give away my height but changing it just so...the assumption would be it could have been someone shorter. I didn't _actually_ think you'd believe…" He shook his head, not finishing.

He didn't need to. Coulson could see now…Ward set May up...May had been innocent… And he _killed_ her…

 _ **BANG!**_

He flinched at the sound but whipped around to see Skye in the doorway, gun raised. Intinctivly he got moving running towards her. He only glanced back to see Ward picking himself off the floor, his hand pressed to his bleeding arm but Skye pulled his him after her down the stairs.

"The car! Get in the car!" he ordered, jumping the rest of the stairs as he could hear loud footsteps. Deathlok.

Coulson jumped into Lola's seat, strapping in his seat just as Deathlok jumped from the balcony. His fingers twisting a knob which releases guns from Lola's light, firing off to distract him but seeing Deathlok's arm raise, he got into action.

"Buckle up!" He called, stepping on the pedal, the wheel screeching which on a normal day would have freaked him out because it was Lola but priorities were here, not caring as they reversed straight off the hold door and avoided the rocket launcher.

Skye just manages to buckle in, gripping onto the sides but he flicked up a latch then switch, his eyes stinging at the air that assaulted his eyes but he could just see the wheels turn before grunted at the sudden almost stop descent before he began to steer down. The bus shooting away quickly.

His heart hammered in his chest, breathing deeply as they finally flew to a stop, Skye groaned softly as they came into contact with the floor.

There was absolute silence for a long moment before he moved looking at Skye, her hair a mess from the wind, and his no doubt. He watched as something crossed her mind, her focus on him.

"Is May really dead?" Her voice quiet but he heard it.

He looked away. But his silence was the answer she needed. Inhaling deeply.

He did as well. _May…._


	8. Early Morning Talk

Unable to sleep much longer, May decided to get to it. Coulson's face as he killed her haunted in her mind. The memory

the dream. Showering away the cold sweat and grime, having neglected before at her mother's house, it felt nice to be clean. Changing into clean clothes and packed up.

She left the money for the room on the side with a note then headed out, passing an empty reception desk. Dumping her bag in the trunk, May headed off in her car. There only one stop she took, glad to see it still open at the time, 24 hour garage. SHe said nothing despite the odd look for got with what she bought along with her breakfast. But it was quick.

Now, it was for her destination. It had been a while she she had last been there… Coulson's funeral. May barely noticed as she pulled to a stop outside. Coulson's funeral. Her eyes closed, her hands resting on the wheel. A time when she thought he was dead. Before Fury had told her Coulson was alive. She remembered the pain and grief… thinking at the time her friend was dead.

Now here she was to dig up an empty grave. It was almost ironic. A 'dead' woman digging up a 'dead' man's grave. She shook her head softly before getting out. The streetlamp barely shone any light, though it would be hard, she could get into the coffin before sun rise. Which would mean no one would be coming along. If they did they'd assume she was a 21st Century grave robber. In one sense it was true.

Reaching into the car, May grasped her newly bought shovel and headed into the dark Cemetery. She knew her way with ease, like she could ever forget. Her eyes lingering on the tombstone with a sharp sigh, fighting back the image of his face before she thrust the shovel into the moist ground, wet with dew making it much easier

 ****

 **Her heart pounded in her chest, dirt and mud stuck to her sweaty skin as she dug. Light was just beginning to touch the sky, a red hue in the clouds. But she was close...so close now. Under her feet, May could feel the hardness, the dirt becoming much easier to shovel.**

Thrusting once more, she grunted slightly as it came to a sudden stop with a loud thump, quickly using the shovel to scrape away the muck till she would see the opening of the casket. One used for an open casket which now she understood for.

Tossing the shovel to the side, she dug her fingers into the side, holding her breath as she tugged, the earth giving way around it after a long second. It was eerie, looking into it when the dirt settled. There was nothing but the white material of the lining of the coffin, bending down for a closer look before putting her hand into it, feeling around before she felt an odd lump under the material…

She didn't have a knife so she pushed the small object towards the seem. Given the two years it had been under the ground, there was some dampness to the material, meaning it had softened enough… Digging her nails in, it took a few tugs before it caved, ripping open loudly but she quickly retrieved it. It was a small cylindrical piece, but definitely S.H.I.E.L.D.

Pushing herself up, she crawled up out the grave, glad to see it was deserted still before walking off, leaving the spade and grave as it was. She didn't have the time to clear it up. The council would bury it back up. Brushing off the mud and dirt as she went. She slipped into her car, before looking at the intel.

It looked like a simple rounded tube, a case of some kind, her fingers twisted the side, loosening it up to pull out a thumb drive. May looked at it for a moment, undecided if she should watch it or not.

This was what Coulson needed. Maybe it was a good thing he didn't kill her over this. Watching it now, what would that mean for her….what would that make her do? Compel her to reveal herself to Coulson? Would it make her guilty about hiding from him….

Sighing deeply, May routed around and pulled out an old borrowed Laptop. Plugging the USB into the side, opening up the file. A video file immediately popped up before it began to play.

"Oh Phil…." She breathed as it began to play out.

 **Heart feeling heavier now she had watched the intel, May decided to remain on the low, breaking into Mara's new apartment and waited. It wasn't long though. Maria poked her head from the room, gun raised and half dressed.**

"Here, really?" Maria questioned when she noticed her, lowering her weapon.

"I got the intel" May said, walking forwards and placed it on the side. Maria's eyes linger on it for a moment, walking forwards and picked up the USB Tube.

"I take it you got a plan. I know you've watched it."

"I'll go by an Alias; Athela Rice. You can share that with Coulson but make it clear it's not a face-to-face thing."

"He won't trust that."

"I know. But as long as the intel pays out, He'll learn to trust your opinion on Athela." May answered. The Alias was not known to Coulson but he had heard of the name at the least. "I also need a safe house."

"S.H.I.E.L.D. ones is good but safe houses are being raided by the US Military. The ones that captured S.H.I.E.L.D. agents know and being questioned about." Maria stated, folding her arms.

May smirked softly, "I know, which is why I know you have one in mind, this apartment is for show. I know you, Maira."

A small expression flittered over Maria's face, confirming she was right. Maria moved after a moment and pulle dout a piece of paper, scrawling something onto it before handing it to her.

"Thank you." May sighed, reading the address but she was grateful for the help.

"What do you plan to do now? You can't do much without intel…" Maira started,

"I have a plan in place. After watching it, I know I can't just Leave coulson to it, not until Garret and Ward's down."

"Ward?" She frowned.

"He's hydra. Or at least that's my assumption. He may have set me up but Coulson throttling me to death really didn't let me find out more." Her tone soured as she spoke.

"Your voice sounds better. I've just noticed," Maira noted, no doubt having the reminder when she spoke about Coulson, the conversation changing topic.

May shrugged. "Hurts like hell, hot drinks are a no-no for now. But I've had painkillers and throat soother so...When that wears off it's gonna be hard to talk again." May answered, through she had been doing what she could not to focus on the soreness of her throat. The bruises on the other hand, prominent as ever but she felt no need to hide them just yet.

"I'll update you on Coulson when I get back. I'll let Stark know I'm going AWOL for today"

May nodded, ."Use this number on the Alias." Jotting down number. "Text me. But I'll need to get going. Is the lake secure?" May headed back to the window.

"Not yet, the paperwork is huge but Stark only knows that a power person is reborn out of it, an asset for him if need be and he knows you're a friend of mine. If he meets you personally then he'll have a question or two about it. Once the hydra thing is taken care of, not doubt a few tests."

"Okay. Sounds...just about reasonable." Though it wasn't too much of a comfort to think about. "Death is not fun so I will be treating my life like it's one life thing, let him do a questionnaire first…" Her fingers slipped and opened it, climbing up onto the fire escape.

Maira chuckled, walking after her to close it behind her. Not needing to finish a good bye, May slipped easily and quietly down and away.


	9. Talks with Maria

Maria sighed deeply as May left, keeping the number and the intel on her as she finished up changing. Putting the number into her phone and under the Alias name and slipped it into her pocket. Securing her apartment as she grabbed her bag and left herself.

Maria knew she'd be heavily watched so she'd need to shake the tails put on her when she left. If Coulson was keen then the likely chance of being up early to discuss plans with his team. Of course, Maira was well aware on her arrival would be odd so Coulson would want to talk to her, privately. She knew he'd know she had a reason to go to him. To put the effort into it all.

Her eyes scanned the immediate area as she slipped out of the building, her eyes landing on a few, two immediately warning bells. Pulling up her hood, she headed past her car, feeling them follow her. Also glad for the fact she had two hoodies on so when she ducked out of sight, she shrugged off the other hooded jacket and tossed it, waving down a Cab to pick her up before going back into the opposite direction.

It only took 2 more hours before it felt comfortable to get to her real destination, confident all the tails were shaken off. She had used the Security footage and potential places from the airfield to get an approximate location, It was narrowed down to a Motel.

Checking her watch, Maria pulled up to the motel, getting a room number to Coulson's then knocked on the door, waiting for a couple of minutes before the door opened cautiously. Maria's eyes landed on Coulson's face but into the room to see three people there as well.

"Maria Hill?" he questioned, sounded surprised. Her eyes flickered back to him.

"Coulson." Maria said, walking past him into the room. "Your team?"

"Agents' Fitz, Simmons and Skye." Coulson said, shutting the door, though she could feel his continuous stare. "Can you give us the room, Please." he ordered after a moment, sensing she wasn't going to start off in company.

Skye sighed deeply, closing her laptop and shuffled off the bed, followed by the two scientists. Turning her focus back to Coulson as the door shut followed by a long moment of silence.

"What the hell are you doing here, Hill?" Coulson demanded after a moment, his voice much calmer than she expected to go with the statement.

"From you, Nothing, Phil." Maria started, taking a seat. "But I'm hear to deliver some Intel you probably wanted." Reaching into her pocket, her fingers found the USB tube and pulled it out.

Coulson frowned, seeing it. "What's on it?"

"The person in charge of the project. I thought now...it would be a good time given SHIELD's gone to hell in pieces. I can't have this on me, you know why." She held it out to him with a long look, watching the expression on his face as he reached out and took it.

Maria folded her arms. Something about him was different, she could read the heaviness in his posture, more in the lines of his face and in the expression in his eyes. Being an agent, she knew why. It was guilt...and grief. Over who, she knew. But he didn't know she knew and she wasn't going to tell him that. Those questions would only lead to difficult answers.

"Also, Phil. I have an Asset for you. A SHIELD agent I trust with my life." His eyes flickered back up to her. Looking to the window for a moment as if expecting her to pop up into frame. "She won't be showing her face any time soon, her name is Althea Rice."

"I can't trust an agent I've never seen before." he started, seriously.

"Well, I would have asked Agent May, but she's gone AWOL." Maira stated, knowing it was hit a spot and cause a reaction.

And it did, his face dropped in colour, unable to look at her as his fingers tightened on the USB, even his breath seemed to hold for a long moment. It really showed to Maria how it affected him… The guilt that weighed him for killing an innocent women. A friend. But Maria knew how to get him to trust her with May's new Alias. It was a dirty trick but if May was to help, she needed him to trust her as a unidentified source until May was ready. She knew May well enough to show herself, sooner or later.

"She'd dead." Coulson said, his gaze glazed a little.

Maria didn't answer. She didn't need to. But she looked away, playing the act.

"Ward...He was a hydra agent, a sleeper which is why...he got into Providence base…" Coulson started, inhaling deeper. "But he killed the agent there after we left...but I was so mad at her… I made her stay behind."

"Ward killed her?" Maira said softly, knowing it was wrong but the assumption was in the air.

"No. He played with the forensic...He set May up. Hoping I'd assume the worse…" He closed his eyes with a shake of his head. "He was right. She walked out the base but she came back. But… I…" He trailed off.

"You did it." Maria finished.

"I got so... _furious_. I thought she was hydra even after her...i thought that thinking she was still the bad guy, then it'd be easier...but… it just makes it much worse."

Maria sighed deeply walking over to him.

"You did a bad thing, Coulson. But you have to live with it but you can help make up for it with trusting your team, _and_ trusting my asset to help. I know you have a personal vendetta with Ward and Garrett, so trust me now." her voice was soft, placing her hand on his shoulder which slumped in her grip.

Coulson wasn't looking at her but he nodded.

"I have to go now. I'm going to reveal the location of the Providence base to make up for my disappearance from my watchdogs. Hydra would also know about it so it won't be safe for you to return there. I'll keep in contact with you."

"Okay."

Maira nodded with a deep sigh then headed towards the door, remembering something quickly. "And Phil, please watch the Intel. Agent Rice spent an hour digging up for grave to get it." She added softly before slipping out the room, eyeing the three agents too close for comfort. Rolling her eyes a little, she shut the door but there was a loud crash from within, making her sigh deeply.

Silently, Maria walked away.


	10. TAHITI

Coulson's hand stung with pain as his fist once again collided with the solid surface of the wall, denting the drywall but it wasn't until his fist hit and broke the mirror that he stopped, slumping against the wall as the emotions all seemed to hit. Ignoring the glass in his wound, bleeding over the bathroom floor but he didn't do anything to stop it.

He slid down to the floor, resting his head into his other palm. The silence seemed to press on him now, almost suffocating him. Alone with his mind. The pain radiating down his hand was enough for his mind to go only to one place. May.

"May…." He breathed, closing his eyes. Guilt and regret weighed deeply in his heart and stomach. Now, he knew he shouldn't gotten as mad as he had been with her. Mad and Mean. He knew Melinda...knew she always had his back yet. Thick and thin, from the academy to SHIELD missions, even after his death yet untill the phone in that bloody cockpit….he had had hers. But being so blinded by hurt… that was his mistake. He was paying the price for that. The team too in the way of the loss.

What did they think of him now? The agent who killed an agent of the same agency...A friend…. In cold blood. Did they think of him less than before. Probably. They all saw it no doubt, on the security feed.

They watched him fight her, hurt her….then kill her. But they had also seen her disappear. He had no idea what happened her to her body, once this was over...he'd have to bury an empty box. Even if he had her body...they wouldn't be able to take her with them. If her body had stayed, she'd be at the Providence base beside Koenig in that morgue. A base that would no doubt be home to new faces. Hydra or Military. Either way they wouldn't have gotten her body back. May that would have been worse then her disappearing.

But nonetheless, he had been the one to be the cause. Coulson's eyes flickered open, starting down to his hands. Now...all that anger had gone...he could perfectly remember what he had done...what he mad missed. The scratches in the back of his hand, just visible, but he could remember feeling her claw at his hand, trying to prise them from her neck. An act of pure desperation before she gave up.

Remembering that now...It made his skin crawl...

Melinda May gave up.

Of course she'd give up to him. She couldn't have gotten out of his grip. Not with that broken rib he inflicted onto her. He had felt the bone cave with that kick, then, he hadn't noticed it. That was what made him win. Pain. It slowed her down, especially in the area of the body that dealt with so much movement.

Even if he had stopped sooner...what saved her from a punctured lung? He knew he pressed against her and dropped her. Was it possible he had done that as well? Without a body...or an autopsy there was no way to know. He didn't know how hard he had been. She had barely been alive when he let go. She should have been able to breath then. Did he damage her neck which made it impossible to breath in after?

Coulson barely noticed the knock on the door, more questions filtering into his head.

"Stop thinking so hard. It's not good on you for now." Skye said, almost making him jump, his eyes darting to her but she was collecting up some tissue, holding it out to him. He took it after a moment, picking some of the glass from his hand then mopped up the red mess, holding it against the cuts.

"It...I.. Killed her." He started. "It doesn't feel real…I killed my friend."

Skye said nothing but he felt her stare, but her expression wasn't what he expected.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" He asked, looking away from her.

"Like what?"

"Like a normal person."

"Coulson.." She shook her head after a moment, stepping in more then slid down beside him. "I'm not judging you for that."

"You should. Fitz, SImmons and Trip...they watched me do it. I didn't even let her have time to talk...or to explain. Now that I know….I remember everything I did...and her reactions." His eyes went back to his other hand, going to the faint white lines clawed into his wrists.

"Coulson. It was a set up."

"But I hated her because she had been spying on me, That wasn't a set up."

"Ward used your feelings towards her against you. There's nothing you could have done to stop him."

"No, but If i had been more open minded...I wouldn't have used such drastic measures to contain her. Now, May's dead...She gave up, Skye. You knew her, she never gave up. But with me...she did."

Skye had no answer for that which didn't surprise him. His heart pounded in his chest, his face feeling hotter as well as his eyes.

"She was my best friend, Skye. Ever since we met at the academy." He shook his head, "I tossed it all away…." He flexed his fingers, pain stinging down his hand before he grasped some of the glass in his wound, pulling it out. "We need her now…"

"We have to make do, Coulson. With what we've got." Skye said after a moment. "I miss her, even if she wasn't as friendly to me. Sure, I felt betrayed when i found out about the phone because she reported on you. But we need to take down Ward….and Garrett. We can't do that sitting on a floor in a bathroom."

"I know." Coulson answered, more of a grumble this time. He knew what hed needed to do. But something else just bugged him, not just about killing her. "But after I killed her, Skye, Her body disappeared."

Skye frowned softly.

"Watched her die in my arms, so I know it wasn't some twisted trick. She was there a second but gone the next."

"What do you think happened?"

"I don't know. But her clothes were left behind. Once this is over, I think I'll have Fitz look into what happened, the...footage is saved so I guess we'll have to look into that." He stiffened through but if they got around to it then maybe they could find her body sooner or later.

"Yes, But for now, let's get back to business, grieve about May after." Skye moved to stand back him, accepting her help but he headed to the sink to clean his hand, sighing as the water hit his hand, pushing some of the shards from his hand away down the sink.

"What's that?" Skye said after a moment, he looked to where she pointed, landing on the Intel Maria had given her.

"Intel, Maria brought it to me. We have an unknown asset that dug it out my grave." Coulson answered.

"Are you gonna watch it?"

Coulson shrugged after a moment. "Probably." but he knew he would have watched it with… May if she hadn't died. She would have been the person he would have been most comfortable sharing his problems with.

"Can I watch it with you?"

This made him pause a moment. Then slowly he nodded. Out of the others, He knew he could trust Skye to help him. She knew how personal things had gotten.

He finished up watching his hand, wrapping more loo paper around his hand and headed out the bathroom. Skye had gotten her laptop in that time, opening it up, taking out the intel ad plugged it in. Coulson sighed deeply as he slid into the seat beside her, watching her as she opened it up.

He blinked in surprise as his own face popped up.

 _"Good morning, Director Fury. I regret to inform you that I'm handing in my resignation. I know you brought me on to Project T.A.H.I.T.I. because you trusted my judgement, and it's that judgment that telling me that i can no longer, in good conscience, let the testing continue. I understand you started the program to potentially save a mortally wounded avenger. But the side effects are too Extreme."_

Coulson inhaled deeply, watching with rapt attention.

 _"We had initial success with the regenerative properties of the Guest-host tissue, but after the initial physical recovery, the subjects began to deteriorate Mentally, Displaying Hypergraphia, Aphasia, Catatonia, or just complete psychosis._

 _We don't known if it was the biology at play or the simply the awareness of what was done, but the only course of action that showed any promise of stemming the side effect was memory replacement- erasing complete awareness of what they'd been through. Even those results were very inconsistent._

 _To be clear, I'm recommending the termination of Project T.A.H.I.T.I. Under no circumstances should these procedures or drugs be administered to anyone ever. The cost is too great. Thank you sir."_

The screen turned black with 'end of Transmission' popping up on it but it left him stunned to silence along with Skye.

 **Sorry this chapter too long to get too, I found it hard to get into the angsty mood this week to write it. Please leave a comment onto it, I'm a little uncertain on how it went.**


	11. Cybertek, part 1

Coulson found himself feeling strangely calm as he woke, The laptop was still open, the screen blank, a reminder of what he watched but he felt a new sense of motivation. He showered and changed, his hand throbbing painfully now but it didn't stop him. He left earlier than the others, no doubt still asleep, going to get food and files they'd need to find Ward and Garrett.

There was plenty of stuff he could get that was on the plane, something he had planned to transfer from the hub to the Providence base, moving it to the small plane for safer keeping. A good thing now. Hydra didn't have them. It'd give him enough to help plan.

He didn't get all the SHIELD boxes, only the relevant ones and maps, including a white board, Pulling up with Lola's boot full. He wasn't surprised to see Trip just leaving, on the phone. HIs mind recalling on what he wanted to get so he left him to it.

Skye came out next, her head poking out before sighing as she saw him, walking from her room towards him.

"I went to the plane, get some stuff and some food." he said before she could say anything.

"New motivation?"

"Yep." he answered, jumping out the car.

"Has Simmons looked at your hand."

"Nope."

Skye rolled her eyes but came to help so he handed her some of the box files to take in. "What's the plan?"

"We have a few days best to figure out the plan. But the objective; take Ward and Garrett down and stop what they're planning But you already knew that one."

She opened up his room, letting him in first, Putting the box onto the bed.

" What do you want me to do?"

"Once we're set up, you can use your skills, locate the bus."

"Okay."

He stayed silent again was they collected in the rest of the stuff into the room, opening up the door that connected both rooms. FitzSimmons made their appearance, taking the board and maps, putting them up and to mark where Centipede had worked and other notes tough he felt there was still a chunk they were missing.

It didn't take much longer than a few hours to get into focus. Going over the files and what he knew of Ward, Garrett and Hydra. He was unable to resist noting Cap's fight into it and the destruction of the Triskelion and the takeover of a few SHIELD bases, not just by hydra but also the ones the Military had taken.

The Hub for sure and the Providence base but with nothing it was hard to tell what else was taken. He had to be ahead of the game though.

He then turned his focus on their main lines of their missions. Putting them all into bubbles before calling the others through.

"You got a plan?" Skye asked, sitting on the bed, Fitz SImmons doing the came.

"I have." He said, looking to their faces. "This is an overall plan of what we've dealt with ad on closer inspections, I think have may have found a link to put then all together." He moved and scrawled, Cybertek into the centre bubble. "Cybertek Built Deathlok, shipped items to Quinn who was working for the clairvoyant who turned out to be Garrett. " He started, "Ward was planted on our bus to find out why I didn't stay dead."

"And they needed my hard drive." Skye nodded, her tone souring.

"It had all your research and data in it on the GH drug from Simmon's research."

"They need GH325 for the super soldiers, that Garrett's been developing centipede all this time." Fitz remarked.

"It may be a final ingredient for them, to stabilize and regenerate the soldiers." Simmons finished,

"Since the intel was encrypted, no one but me would be able to access it again which is why Ward came back." Skye said, her eyes lowering a second. "He set May up so they's have more of a chance."

"We'll get to that part another day, once Ward and Garrett's down." Coulson said, his one tighter, " Skye told me last night she left a little surprise on the drive."

Skye nodded, her hand going to her pocket pulling out thumb drive. "A trojan hourse, it's something that's been slowly mapping every system they've uploaded it to. However," She added quickly, seeing Simmons's face, "I didn't quite finish it so This will have to be plugged into one of their systems to activate ut." She sighed, "But I can't seem to find one."

"Not strictly true," Coulson spoke, fiddling with the pen, "Garrett and cybertek have been working together for years. If it on Garrett's system, its-"

"-on cyberteks." Skye released, a look forming in her expression which showed enough she was onboard with the idea.

"So, We're going in to one of their offices. We may not have the authority to do this but we have to. I won't let Ward and Garrett get away with Murder." Coulson said, folding his arms his tone almost felt like he was making a promise.

He knew he was also to blame for murder but as Skye said, Ward was the reason of May's death and he didn't intend to pass the blame, he didn't want to. He was the one that followed through, Passing it on felt like an offence to May's death. Something that weight constantly and would haunt him. But as he said to Trip. He had to put those feelings on pause to get through the reality to bring Hydra down.

"And I want my plane back…"

May sighed deeply, removing the headphones from her ears and lay onto the bed. The Bug Maria had planted on Coulson was working so she wouldn't have to guess the plan.

While there was some relief there was a plan, May found it at least a list of things that could go very wrong. Very wrong if she didn't go there. She needed her own plan to remain anonymous to Coulson but to get into Cybertek. It'd be tight but...not impossible.

A new name and a reason to be there...she had non unless they were looking for more security. It was a slim chance. And she knew a way out if fighting was no longer a possibility, She'd rather be reborn than a hostage for experimentation.

May jotted down Coulson's plan in bullet points, putting the headphones back on but at a lower volume to think. Finding out the times and the places from there before she'd have to do her own research.

It had been odd though, hearing Coulson's voice for the first time since her death. Some part of it when she first turned the bug on and hearing him… some waves of of emotions stayed washed through her, making her heart beat a little faster in her chest, her fingers over the dark bruise still. Fear.

The feeling of fear brought back the helplessness...it always brought her back to that moment of staring into his face. That… that feeling she only felt one time before…

 _Bahrain._

She sucked in a deep slow breath.

She had been the cause of her trauma then. Comforted by Coulson and only for him to be the cause and trigger for her second. It showed her enough though. She wasn't at all ready to be back with him….with being near him. If she reacted like this just as hearing him… what would she do being in front of him?

She didn't know. But she had to get off her ass and help.

Moving she opened up her laptop. Going through numerous searched to find Cybertek, glad that from Skye's search of it weeks ago had given her an idea of where to look. She was no hacker but she got there, looking through the site very closely, noting down bits and pieces that could come up and making sure to keep notes down on Coulson's times he was planning on visiting. No point setting up an appointment at a completely different time.

Making sure to have everything in front of her, she dialed the number for the company. Smirking softly as a woman picked up.

"Hello, cybertek industries."

"Afternoon, My name's Emily Chen. I was looking through new sites to look for some possible job opportunities. I read that there are a few positions open but not as many is security."

There was a moment of silence. "Well we've had quite a surge in jobs as of recent, all have been underwhelming however I suppose I could make an appointment. What area are you trained in?"

"I'm a former SHIELD agent, so quite a lot." She waited, knowing at this point it was a 50/50 chance now with that card.

There was a long moment of silence and quiet murmurs before she heard someone get back to the phone, a male this time.

"Okay, I think we can set up an interview though you will have to hand us a resume, including how long you worked in shields and the areas."

"Of course. Though Is it possible to get the interview for tomorrow noon? I do have some...funeral arrangements to make." She added a tighter tone, though the rasp of her voice seem to come back, stinging. The medicine had worn off, Damn.

There was another moment of silence. "We do have a slim slot, we've just had another booking for the time but we can squeeze you in before."

"Sounds perfect.." Melida got out, coughing.

They exchanged a few further things before she hung up, coughing again softly as she sat up, opening the bag her mother had given her and opened up the throat soothers, taking a swig from the bottle to have herself getting a spoon. Though her eyes lingered on the concealer, something she'd need now.

Heading to her bag, she began to sort through them for possible outfits for tomorrow..

 **So sorry it's taken this long! I've had a picky muse for this sotry lately and i h've had mor ehours at work so My time's been limited. Please leave a comment! I'd appreciate it a lot**


	12. Cybertek Part 2

May took her time the following morning, getting herself set up and ready, going over a few details in her head that differed from her time in shield, writing out a resume but didn't put all her skills down, only the most importants ones. She wanted to be underestimated for the advantage. May also backed a plastic but incredibly sharp sort of knife, she had enough strength and skill to cause enough harm, either to herself for the way out. The plastic nature made sure it was concealed from metal detectors if the have them and she kept it hidden in her sleeve for a quick draw.

The bruised around her neck she concealed, and the high nature of the collar of her shirt also helped. SHe kept herself doused up to talk, the irritation was beginning to fade from her throat but it's be a few days before it'd go completely while the bruised would take longer. However, if all went to plan, she's be reborn at some point today, either helping the team or by getting out. Rebirth was going to be useful until she could...face Coulson. Death to get away from him… if he lost his head about it again or by her own hand out of panic.

Getting there had been easy, leaving her secured safe house keys to a dropbox since she didn't want to leave them in her jacket if they got left behind. She could see there were a lot of glass windows, good and high too so jumping an option if the glass wasn't bulletproof.

Walking through the security, she let her presence be known before taking a seat, her eyes on her watch then around her, assessing the few of the armed guards, something to keep an eye on no doubt.

"Ms Chen" A voice called. Taking her a fraction of a second to respond as she remembered it was her undercover name.

She turned, putting on her act as she stood up to greet the woman.

"Yes, that's me."

"If you'll follow me we can start your interview. Did you bring your required paperwork?" She asked, leading her through the metal detectors.

"I did." though the papers were quickly taken from her hands.

"Good. We'll start as soon as we get in." Her tone was bossy, her head tilted up a little snootily as well. May could feel herself disliking this woman very quickly.

There was silence as they took a level down from the ground floor, she felt no need to bring up a conversation and the woman also didn't feel the need to as well. It would have been… "unprofessional" in this type of work, she could only assume.

Then the woman led her out of the lift and along the corridor, passing some stars down as well but she didn't have much of a look as she stopped abruptly at a door and walked in so she followed after, stopping in the doorway as she watched the woman walk over to a take with 2 security bosses.

"Please, take a seat while we quickly read through" Said the smaller man of the two, gesturing to the chair in front. May nodded and slid into the offered seat, consciously aware of a older woman in the corner typing as they spoke.

May didn't move though, watching them talk quietly as they pointing out a few things on the paper.

"So, Ms Chan, You spent time in the field as a SHIELD agent?"

"Yes." She spoke, "I was a Supervising offerer to the newest recruits. Training them in hand-to-hand combat and weapons."

This was noted down, watching as one nodded. "How long have you been a SHIELD agent?"

"I was recruited out of Collage into the academy." Close information but she had to stick to some facts, they weren't oblivious to SHIELD's training and the academy now was known for hydra and other third parties. "25 years for a more specific answer."

"Do you still hold any relations to known SHIELD agents?"

"No. When SHIELD collapse My friends were quickly rounded up by hydra or by the US air force if they weren't killed."

"Were you a Sleeper Hydra agent?"

"No, but I am...open to a change of sides." May answered though it was easy to say, she had to sound like she meant it. "No point carrying a badge for something that no longer exists." She added with a shrug.

"Okay." The larger male started. "What made you come to cybertek for a Job?"

This was a question she had expected so she wasn't stumped for an answer. "Many SHIELD operatives quickly took jobs in Stark Injuries and other high industry jobs. I thought that Cybertek would have a less of a swarm of jobs but I've done my research to know you create and deliver high quality technology that could easily fall into the hands of people who don't know what they're doing."

"Interesting answer…" The smaller man said with a deep sigh.

The questions continued for a further 10 minutes before they fell into silence but they were all started by the sounds of an alarm.

"Breach in the science department." Both men stood up, May stood up as well.

"Keep Ms Chen here, we'll get ahead of this." The bigger man called to the woman who had stayed in the room through the interview but as the door closes, May acted fast, knocking the woman and the typewriter woman out and grabbed her keys and dashed out. Taking a left down at the stairs as she saw the two guards run down there first.

May jumped the smaller one and grabbed his radio, hearing another voice come through

 _'Intruders have barricaded themselves in the hardcopy room, get in there and take them out. Use lethal force if necessary.'_

Damn it…

May quickened her step as she ran, punching out another employee as she went. Then she saw a group of armed security guards. From inside the room as she carried on, she heard a loud smash of glass.

She pulled the plastic knife from her sleeve and stabbed it into the arm of the first guard. The Element of surprise giving her the advantage of taking out two before the door to the room was burst open. She pushed through after dropping the now unconscious guard. She pushed though to see Coulson going down a zip line, Simmons just leaping with a iron loop but it was almost for a second seeing it in slow motion as she saw a gun twitch, jumping into movement without thinking before she heard the sudden and loud bang.

The pain flared through her chest at the single shot, her hand coming to her chest, feeling the host flow of warm blood run through her fingers. Breathing was hard but she could feel the blood seeping into her lungs quickly, making her gasp and choke before she hit the ground. Black dots began to spread in her vision but she didn't fight it, the blurred figure above her before she felt another shot of pain before black then the sensation of falling.

May gasped sharply again, suddenly surrounded by cold and water, using her arms to push herself up towards the surface of the water with a gasp for breath. Her heart racing in her chest as she tried to gather her bearing again.

Her head hurt. Gunshot to the head. Quick but painful. She was going to need a couple of aspirins to get rid of the headache but she was successful in her mission. She saved SImmons, Coulson and he were long gone from Cybertek and cybertek were left with her pile of clothes and blood splatter with lots of questions.

Her vision sharpened, treading water before she began to swim back to the lakes edge, obviously secured from the absence of people though she headed straight to the bobbing canister left for her. Making her feel glad now for her mother's input for it.

But she still had work to do and someone to call.

Maria.


	13. Cybertek Part 3

Getting geared up for Cybertek had caused a feel of productivity in the air. They had a motive now. Getting somewhere than being stranded. A distraction more for Coulson but he had a focus now. Simmons had patched his hand up properly now for the mission so it was useable.

Skye had set up their files and fake PhDs, or at least for him, Simmons were displayed though he'd let her do most of the talking. Fitz would assist though the comms if need be and he was willing to take the risks.

Even getting into the building, he only felt a mild sense of nervousness. He knew how wrong this could go. This was the sort of situation he knew he would have preferred May to have by his side, under cover with Simmons to _assist_ her. That way, less chance to being caught and captured. That he couldn't afford. But he had what was left of their team. Simmons was the brains, he was the brawn on this mission.

Coulson watched as they were directed into an office, so he stood waiting by the window, watching SImmons as she simmered nervously; fiddling with the hem of her jumper. He placed a hand silently on her shoulder to reassure her before he heard foot steps. They both turned, putting on their fake smiles

"Hi, please, Sit." The first cyber tek instructed politely. Walking first, he gently took both their seats out, being a gentleman before sliding into his own seat.

The introductions were quickly presented and passed, before he presented the icer bullet but did his best to relay what Fit was saying quickly, glad that his tongue didn't slow him down as Simmons joined in but more fluently before they were both stopped by the head scientist, Ott.

Their expressions were clear enough that they weren't impressed. Coulson figued their combined explanation of the ICER were seen as unprofessional. However he could hear the sound of annoyance from Fitz when they told them they had already seen it before.

" _Minkey bastards stole my work_!" He heard him mutter though he almost saw Simmons's lip twitch at the remark.

"Is that all?" Ott asked, placing the shot back down onto the table. Coulson looked to Simmons than back to Ott. Their silent answer obvious. "Then it's time for you to leave. We're pressed for time with other interviews if you've got nothing _worthy_ to show." They both stood, so sighing deeply, Coulson made himself a little put out before standing taking the shot back into his pocket before they made their way towards the doors.

"I'm sorry it didn't work out.." he said, passing both cybertek agents.

"Yeah, _so_ nice meeting you both…" Simmons answered though he caught her expression to her sarcastic comment but he held off reacting to that as they were lead by a security guard towards the elevator.

Getting in first, Coulson watched the security guard as he pulled out a set of keys and slid it onto a keyhole and turn then press the ground button. Coulson looked to Simmons then nodded.

She moved and stomped onto the guards foot before Coulson moved in, striking the guard but though it only took a few good punches to knock the male out but suddenly being in proximity and beating someone really made him feel nauseous to the fact the last time that had been when he...killed _her_. It made his stomach tighten and his pulse quicken.

Feeling the lift coming to a stop, he pressed the button to the next floor as Skye instructed their next route.

"You okay, sir " Simmons asked quietly but he nodded. He needed to keep focused. A constant reminder to himself. When the doors opened again, they dragged the unconscious man out to the hallway from the lift and left him there.

"Yeah." He lied, his eyes flicking to a few signs as Skye directed them down an empty corridor. He just managed to pull Simmons back as a guard passed the end corridor, fortunately unseen though he waited till the guard was out of hearing range before moving, stopping as they saw the door.

"Thats gotta be it." Simmons answered, leaning down to examine it. Heavy security, Skye was right but they could get through it.

"Yeah, i hopes there's an explanation to why i can't find _any_ data signatures in there as well…" Skye called, half curious but a little annoyed on that fact. He knew why, they _needed_ that intel, they _needed_ to plug that flash drive in… to find Ward and Garrett.

Trip had easily provided them with the necessary equipment from his howling commandos trunk (at which he did fanboy a little to.. how could he not?). Using one of the lasers that was disguised as a cigarette to cut through the metal around the door before it dropped inside. He hurriedly put it away into his pocket as he let Simmons take a lead.

But as he got in, disappointment settled into him. There was no computer, or banks of servers. Instead the room was lined with rows and rows of metal filing cabinets.

"I think that answers that question, sir.." Simmons sighed, her eyes running down the first few cabinets.

"Guys, we don't have eyes through your glasses. What's the problem?" Skye called though.

"You can't pick up a data signature because there isn't one…" Coulson started, moving forwards them.

" _What do you mean there isn't one?"_ Skye asked.

"All the files are hard copies." Simmons answered, "quite ingenious really, no doubt to prevent the exact thing we're trying to pull here."

" _Simmons that is not helpful."_ Fitz called through.

"No but we may as well poke around and see what they have. Might give us an idea of what hydra might have if we take a peek at what they've got." Coulson decided after a second. It seemed like the smartest idea since they were already here. Why waste the opportunity?

Simmons looked to him for a moment but had already moved forwards, looking to the labels… and from the looks of it, alphabetically. Coulson had just reached _Branding corporate security_ then Simmons caught his attention.

"Sir, look. Mike Peterson's file.."

He hurried over, peering over her shoulder to the file before his eyes flickered to the rest of the cabinet's content.

"All of this… it's project deathlok." She exclaimed quietly, putting down one file then opened another but his attention was caught to the first cabinet in the few draws.

"1990? How far back does this go?" He whispered, opening the first draw running his fingers down towards the last file. His eyes running over the label it had

 **CYBERTEK**

 _ **Model No. 01: Version: V1.01 (1990)**_

His eyes lowered down into it as he opened it up but his eyebrow rose as he began to read though the intel… the pictures and diagrams over the line figure on the sheets inside.

"Garrett was the _first_ deathlok…" he mused out loud but the sudden sounds of alarms startled him, almost dropping the file but he hastily shoved it into the cabinet again. "We gotta go."

Simmons darted away for a second then appeared with a box lifter like trolly. He could see her idea; taking the whole cabinet, this was too much to lose.

"Skye, trip, get ready for a large file transfer." He called through before he and simmons pushed hard with the trolley and sent the cabinet through the glass, looking over as it made contact with the floor but he could see skye back up and jump out the van with Fitz, both hurrying towards the cabinet as he saw Trip pull something from the back of the van. A harpoon.

He pulled simmons back from the edge, watching as it stuck into the ceiling and secure but he could hear the worrying sounds of men approaching the door, his fingers pulling his belt as the rope tightened. Simmons pulling a curved piped from the trolley.

Skye and Fitz had just managed to put the cabinet in before he lopped his belt around the rope then pushed himself from the building, just as he had heard the door open, hoping to god Simmons was behind him.

 **Simmons jumped as the door opened, her head spinning around, her eyes widening as she saw an armed guard but she had already behind her descent before a shot was suddenly taken by a sudden body appearing around the corner, pushing down the agent**

A split second, Simmons could have sworn the woman was May but she was out of sight before she heard a second gun shot… but her heart thumped in her chest, questioning herself as she was caught and tugged into the van before speeding off…

May was dead. So who took the shot for her?

 **((sorry it's taken so long for an update. I've had no muse for this story until recently when stuck without wifi for 2 weeks. Hope you like. I did cut a chunk out bc I think we all know what it was about ))**


	14. New Plans

May was quick to dry off and dress, looking through the phone her mother had given her.

Her throat hurt still but mild in comparison to her chest and head. She had a nice, ink dark bruise where the shot wound had been and no doubt on her forehead. Who knew cybertek would use an execution style kill. But given she had told them she was a shield agent, they probably weren't taking their chances. But at least they had given her the quick death she had wanted.

But as she headed out, she dialed up Maria, getting straight to her

" _Was the mission a success_?" Maria asked.

"Yes… i saved Simmons from getting shot, the team should have more intel on Cybertek stuff but I wasn't able to confirm it. I'll get back to the bug you planted...see if they talk about stuff." She answered.

" _I take it you took a shot._ "

"Chest and execution style head shot. So quick death. I'm on my way back to the apartment now."

" _Ouch, but you're okay?"_ May smiled softly at the sound of concern in her voice.

"Yes, a couple aspirins and rest then the headache will go."

" _Yeah… because getting shot in the head is a normal occurrence…"_

May rolled her eyes a little though paused as she saw a motorbike in the parking lot. "Did you by chance leave a motor here?"

" _Yeah but it's one that we can spare, If you drop it off at a location drop spot that I've noted on, i can have someone return it back to the lake with a canister of stuff."_

"Fair enough." That meant her mother wouldn't be popping here with stuff for her whenever she dies so not a lot of bother for her. Maria could get her a lot more things she'd need too.

" _What's the plan now?"_

"No idea. But I'll get a fair amount when i get back to the bug, as I said, I can update you later." she said before ending the call and walked straight to the motor bike, There was an envelope attached to it but no keys so she opened it up.

'Handles are calibrated to your hand prints to prevent it being nicked. Both hands on the bars and twist to activate the engine.'

Below that was an address to drop it off at. Not far from the safe house but it was something. She did not want to walk to a place that could be hours to get to and this really did the job, thank you Maria.

May threw her leg over the seat and say down, taking a moment to look at the handles, normal ones but there was a blue LED strip across the rubber like handles. She reached forwards then placed her hands on the handle. The LED light stip flickered green before she twisted the handles, the engine roared into life.

"..weird.." she mumbled quietly before letting it go, darting forwards, taking her leave from the park.

Coulson flicked through the files, sighing deeply. It was a lot of information. But it showed them much more light on the situation they had now they had gaps filled in. A huge help. G

Garrett was half robotic… how cold SHIELD miss that? Or at least the ones that weren't hydra. His find flickered back to the two team members killed from Garrett's team, killed for finding out…. That's how. No doubt how other shield agents were killed too…

"Garrett was the first Deathlok… Patient Zero." Coulson remarked, flipping up the few plastic sheets over some diagram of implants. "I heard He had gotten hit bad… but I never imagined he'd do _this_?"

"By all accounts he should be dead." Simmons added, "Internal bleeding, rupture to his kidneys...liver…spleen."

"I thought you didn't need your spleen..would they take at least that out?"

"The spleen is basically a bag of blood. It's _never_ good to lose a big bag of blood…" Simmons shrugged. "The cybertek implants no doubt assisting organ function.. But they won't save him when deterioration continues to hit. I can guess he's on a clock."

"That's why he's so driven for the GH drugs…" Skye released, dropping down her files, folding her arms. "He doesn't just want the drugs to rejuvenate his soldiers, he wants it all for himself. Become a real life boy again and… if he makes an mass of controlled super soldiers as well then triple bonus points."

"Talk about multi-tasking…." Trip murmured, shaking his head. "But I'm not surprised, Lot of stuff he couldn't do himself, partly why Ward was on the bus, He trusts Ward with his life."

"How long did they know each other?" Coulson, asked, raising his head to look to Trip.

"Since he was a teenager…. 16 years, maybe. He liked to gloat that Ward could do things better. It was a hard reputation to stand next to."

"You're the grandson of a howling commando, You're a legacy." Skye pointed out.

Trip shrugged, "Didn't shine much. I didn't tell anyone but it's in my file. It's not who you're grandfather was to Garrett that makes you a good agent. Sure, He do doubt chuckled at the idea of a hydra agent working with a howling commando's grandson that was ignorant."

"Sorry." Skye quickly apologised, but Trip shrugged it off.

"I have a question, how is this suppose to help us find the bus? We still haven't got the thumb drive into a hydra system." Fitz pointed out.

"No, but the Trojan house will allow to track all the systems it's uploaded to, If they plug it into the bus, then we can track it via their." Skye answered, "It's probably too dangerous to try and get into it if we find it given the amount of Hydra agents that it might be housing."

"No, but if we take out Garrett, we can worry about the bus later. You can take over the systems like how the Hub did with the Bus. Trajectory it to a location. There's too little of us for what needs to be done. We can't spread out and multitask like they can." Coulson pointed out. "So we need to locate a Hydra computer asap."

"Since Cybertek was a failed lead in the computer area, we need to cover more ground."

"I can try to ID shipments, specifically the Cybertek ones, see where they lead. They need to have a base of operations somewhere and a place to deliver to." Trip decided, dropping his files onto the table then headed away.

"Fitz, go help. Simmons, can you go over the inventory of what we have and try and divide them up between us. We may need them for later times." Coulson started off, Both agents nodded then hurried off, leaving him alone with Skye.

"And me?" Skye asked.

"I want you to look into an agent, Agent Althea Rice. Maria Hill said she's an asset but won't show her face. Romanoff dumped files onto the internet, hers should be about. I've heard her name before."

"Okay, but where? If Agent...Rice wants to help, should we let her?"

"I don't have that luxury of trust. If I met her, got a scope of her personality and loyalty, Maybe I could. I don't want to get the loss of May to disrupt my judgement."

"Wasn't this the agent that Dug up your grave for the intel we watched."

"In broad daylight and a witness down the road walking their dog early." Coulson pointed out.

"So she can be IDed?"

"The only description we have was that she was asian, late 30s early forties and covered in mud. So not a lot to go on. "

"So an asian woman with the last name _Rice_ , that has to be an Alias of sorts. It doesn't feel right..." Skye mused, a frown on her face. "Especially about the fact she knew _where_ to find the intel and has never met you before and knew when to deliver it."

Coulson shrugged. "I know. I have considered the options which is why I need you to try and find out everything you can on her before I put my trust in her, Maria's blessing or not… I _can't_ lose anyone else on this team."

Skye breathed in deeply, and nodded. "Sure. I'll dig about."

"Good." He pushed himself to his feet then walked away.


	15. Face Change

May had managed to get back to the bug but had missed most of it, glad though she had put it to record so she played back, locating to when they had gotten back to the motel then played it on.

Scribbling down a few notes of info that was important. Coulson's voice though, hearing him speak put her on edge, her heart picking up an extra beat. Every time, same effect. Was that the matter with her…

Her mind flickered to Bahrain. The trauma and fear lingered long after that. But Coulson? Yes, he was the cause of another trauma. He killed her. That was the difference between her last death to him killing her. She knew what to expect… to know what was going to happen because she had accepted her situation with death.

But with Coulson, no warning, no expectations or knowing she'd live after. All those piled on top of the brutal method of depth, unable to say her side, the _fear_ that was lingering still. Fear of him that went deeper than conscious thought. How long with it take for her to get over it?

May let out a low sigh, resting her head in her hands, before reaching for her water, her head still aching. The pain meds would kick in soon enough.

Though her head rose as she listened though their plans; more specifically with Skye's directive on her alias.

Of course… May rolled her eyes after a moment. That was going to complicate things. But not impossible. If Skye found nothing then it'd solidify the fact it was an Alias, but she could find a few things…

May picked up her phone, a few ideas coming to mind.

" _May, what now?"_ Maria called through, sounding stressed.

"Bad time?"

 _"LIttle bit."_

"Me too, Coulson's having SKye look into the ALias. He doesn't trust that asset. I got an idea."

 _"What do you need? Remember, i can't pull a lot of strings."_

"Fake files on my Alias and a new face."

 _"Come again?"_ She could hear doubt, no doubt on the latter.

"A new face. Natasha still has the nano mask Tech, right?"

" _Yeah, but I don't think-"_

"I need one, He already has a description of a witness who saw me dig up his grave so I i need a new face to wear, mostly for photo ID."

"That's not gonna be easy, May."

"I know, I can do most of the initial SHIELD files here but I need you to encrypt it and send it out into the data stream of Romanoff's SHIELD dump. Skye can find it then and given the amount of data, it'll take her time to get through it, We have the time."

" _Wouldn't it be easier to forgo and confront him, May. He's torn up about your death._ "

"He murdered me in cold blood, as you know Maria. Out the both of us, I was on the receiving end of it. It affects me deeply, Maria. I'm not… emotionally stable for that. Remember Bahrain…"

It was a bad string to pull but It was necessary to get what she needed… to get her point across too. Maria had seen what Bahrain had done to her and authorised her transfer to Admin.

" _Dirty pull, May. Fine, but you_ can't _keep coming to me if you need stuff. I'm not SHIELD any more and It's putting my ass too close to the house fire."_

"I know and I really do appreciate it. Once I've sorted out Coulson, I won't call unless I have to."

 _"Right."_

"Maria, I have no one else to go to right now. You and my mother are the only ones that know I haven't kicked the bucket. So I'm making do. I am sorry about that."

Maria let out a deep sigh of aspiration. " _I don't have the time to argue or anything. I'll send you a template files, you can fill that out, I'll send you a few faces to chose from for the mask but use the photos for the ID on the file. The mask will take time to get to you… couple of days at the least to a drop spot."_

May frowned, She didn't have that time but she'd have to make do until it arrived. "Okay, I can work with that…" She answered. "Thank you."

" _Bye, text me when you have the mask."_ Maria answered before the line died.

May dropped the phone off with a deep sigh. She did understand Maria complicated position but she was of higher power out of everyone at the moment. But May knew she couldn't rely on Maria for everything. That was fine and she knew she couldn't pull the Bahrain trauma or her death again. It wasn't a good thing to use and May didn't plan to bring it up again.

Her phone beeped, peering to the screen as she saw it was the files, sending them quickly to her laptop then began to look through the few faces for the ID photos.

All the faces were of asian ethnicity and no doubt keeping to her own appearance from the description from the witness. May had planned to use a white woman's face to aid the deception with the name, specifically the _last_ name. Rice. Skye had been quick to figure out the Alias with the description given. But she had to adjust to the change of things.

There were 3 pictures in total, their ages were hard to pinpoint but that wasn't an issue. May could see some of the features were very similar to hers… head shape, forehead… even her eyes. Computer altered for be unique. May knew her reflection well enough. Two looked more related to her than the last. Coulson would spot those similarities or ponder on it for a while.

But the last that had less faction features, that was promising. The eyes here slightly larger still held the same shape, the shade of eye colour was darker, her lip were subtly fuller though slimmer jaw line that contrasted well. It was what May had wanted; a new face. Unique.

May dragged that image to the ID box, then began to fill through the files. Skye as right that the name would work as an alias so she could use that, Use another name.

She put the name she had given Cybertek; Emily Chen. She doubted Cyber tek could be bothered to dig into looking about her file. She was dead to them after all too. The new face looked younger too so she changed the birthdates to what she felt was appropriate.

Given her times in Admissions.. That was definitely paying off now, typing fast, filling out reports and making them intertwin with missions she knew and read about. Even with her own missions as Melinda May, making sure to intertwin them so there was a connection.

Emily Chen should know Melinda May on paper too so it wouldn't look too suspicious to how she knew so much about 'May's' missions after all, giving her a level 7 clearance but a note of transfer to a different base to reason to why she hadn't been seen about.

It took 10 minutes to finish, reading through it and correcting any mistakes before sending it back to Maria to deal with. But it was a weight off her shoulders that it would spare her time and keep Coulson's trust in the alias. He was still busy.

Coulson had been going through more of the files when Trip jogged into the room. His head darting up. "We got a lead?"

Trip nodded, "Cybertek shipments. Originating from different counties but end up in Havana, Cuba."

"We used to have a SHIELD base there…" Coulson answered, perking up and jumped off the bed. "Good work, Trip. Can you get the plane ready?"

Trip nodded. "Yes. SImmons finished the inventory on what we have, we should have enough."

"There might be a computer there too. Skye should be able to take over their systems once it's in."

"Let's hope, Sir." Trip nodded. "Skye's still on her computer, SImmons has joined Fitz, though Not sure what they're doing now."

"Probably at the plane, getting it ready. We should go meet them." He tossed the files into the cabinet then headed past him. "Let's go."


	16. Cuba

The Flight didn't take them as long as Phil expected, though Skye managed to find a couple of files on the cryptic Agent Rice before they had touched down but closed the computer for now as Fitz and Trip routed out for a cover vehicle. They didn't need that distraction until this part of the mission was over.

Trip returned with Fitz inside a campervan and they all

"Where is this base?"

"Barbershop in the center. It's an old base and rarely used but it's a good cover place for shield...or hydra since it's mostly under the shop itself." Coulson explained, taking the wheel then took off. "It's in a good place, it offers good cover and public so no ones gonna go guns blazing."

Trip nodded before settling into silence as he drove. Coulson did his best to avoid the common route with cameras before they eventually pulled up opposite the barbershop and stopped the engine.

"Trip, do a sweep of the area, out of all of us, you got the beard." Coulson decided after a moment though it worried him a little that he didn't really see anyone from _this_ distance.

"Alright, Sir." He slipped out the van and slammed the door shut before making his way casually across the road.

There was a couple minutes silence before Skye spoke.

"I'm gonna see if i can get a local server, see if i can pull up any computers in the area and Security footage, see if we can get a glimpse of the hydra bastards…"

"Good idea."

Again there was a long moment of silence.

"Sir?"

"Fitz?" His eyes flickered away from Trip who was peering into the shop at this point.

Fitz was fiddling with the seatbelt, nervous, "Are we call gonna go in there?"

"You can stay outside if you want, Me, Skye and Trip are gonna go in." Coulson knew the hint. Plus, the whole group wasn't such a good idea. Simmons and Fitz weren't fighters if there was a chance of a fight.

"Okay, sounds like a good idea." Relief was evident in Fitz's posture, Simmons's smiling a little though much more relaxed.

"You can keep the van going for a quick getaway if need be," Skye added, though he picked up on the slight frown on her face.

"What?"

Though looking back, he could see Trip returning with a slight shake if his head, "Damn it, we're too late, they must have gone."

"They must have known we were coming." Trip grumbled, sliding back into the van.

"I'm not so sure, somethings generating a lot of volts down there." Skye answered. "Someone's there."

"A computer?" Fitz guessed.

" If there's a computer down there then we won't have to chase them any more, we plug this in then wake up the trojan horse then we're off to the races… We can locate the bus and where Garrett is."

"Worth a shot." Trip agreed.

"Let's do it!" Coulson pushed himself up then out the Van, taking the lead towards the barber shop.

It didn't take that long to get in, though Trip had pulled out some things from the Howling commando kit and shoved them into his bag though he'd ask about that later. The door was a basic entrance, though felt suspicious though kept his gun out, ready incase there were lurkers.

They all descended down to the lower parts of the building, turning the lights on warily as his eyes scanned around.

"Can you locate the computer?" Trip asked, though came to a stop.

"On it," She answered, typing on the screen; downgraded from the laptop for more mobility.

"Trip, You got from your Grandfather's kit that could help us out?" Asked Coulson, turning to look to the other.

"Always, I'll take a look." He answered, sliding the bag from his shoulders to the nearest surface then began to route though it. Pulling out a black box them opened it up.

"X-ray scanner, should be able to locate any secret doors…"

Coulson knew there would be, especially if it had been a S.H.I.E.L.D. base. It was just the need to find them. He watched him flick it on, starting with the back wall then slowly began to move it along, making sure not to miss a bit.

"Come on…." Coulson heard Trip mutter before he stopped abruptly which caught his attention, "Here, there's something behind this wall…"

Coulson moved forwards, his eyes running along the bricks, to see if he could see one that looked different to the rest. "A secret door?"

"Looks like it." Trip agreed, moving the scanner about but Coulson stepped forwards.

"Let me…. This is my sort of thing." he answered before reaching for the bricks, softly pressing a couple when he came into contact but reaching higher, one pressed in before he heard a whirl of mechanics and the wall swung slowly towards him, moving back himself but he felt very pleased. "As I said, my thing."

His hand moved back to his gun, raising it though his eyes flickered into the other room, scanning around but it was a gratifying sight to see a computer system with the hydra insignia on. Good call…

"Finally." Skye breathed stepping forwards towards it but then the lights flickered behind them. Crap They weren't alone.

"Computer!" He hissed quietly before the lights flickered again but he could see the flicker of a familiar staff then to the side, a red dot flickering on.

"Centipede Soldier." Trip exclaimed before he could but more dots appearing, 3 in total but one hydra agent with the berserker staff.

They were surrounded and outnumbered. Crap. If only May was….

He took in a deep breath, gun raised in waiting, trying to devise a way to get out of this...


	17. Final Plans

Phil's heart thumped in his chest, looking to the the soldiers as they stood menacingly ready to attack. They were vastly outnumbered here… and out powered.

The _staff…_ that immediately came to mind, that'd give one of them at least the strength to take on a soldier. But he knew the effects wouldn't be good… he had seen it in Ward…and May, well she had just been quiet, quieter than normal and he knew what that had brought up in her head. He knew what it would bring up in his.

But it was a risk he had to take. If May was here then she would have brought this building down to get them all out of there…

"Who do i talk to about getting a haircut?" Coulson started then fired his gun, breaking the ice as the men moved forwards, shooting one down and went straight for the hydra agent with the staff. As he swung forwards, it only took a few bullets to knock him back, dropping the gun in favour for the staff.

But as soon as his hand curled around the staff, his muscles seized for a second, a sudden feeling of rage bubbling up in his body, his skin in contact seemed to burn but his head was suddenly filled with flashes….

 _'Ph-' May's face startled,_ but the next image clouded with others _; May pressed up against the wall, her face so close, he could see the terror in her face-_

 _\- the feel of his hand around her neck… -the stomach churning wet crunch he had missed when her wind collapsed under his palm- her eyes widening before her body seemed to stop responding-_ then _her body laying on the floor… then in his arms…_

 _'Coulson!"_

Coulson barely heard the voice but he saw the memory of Ward's sneer on his face, grief turned to rage.

But he was flung back, head spinning as he crashed into the wall which crumbled but he kept his grasp on the staff, not hesitating to get back up, swinging it straight into the soldier that punched him and sending him back into another into the wall which crumbled. His heart thumping fast in his chest, adrenaline pumping through his veins.

"Skye." He whipped around to see her darting towards the computer, Trip looked wary but the movement of a soldier caught his attention.

"I'm bringing this house down!" A warning to his team to get ready to run. He slammed the base of the staff into one of the beams that crumbled like dry wall, the strength was almost admirable but the anger was going to get to him later….

Trip shot down another but the floor above them was beginning to shake.

"Let's bring this house down!" This time he swung again, hearing Skye's voice declaring her job with the computer was done…. "Get out of here!" He shouted before swinging it to send a soldier back then bolted towards the exit, seeing both Skye and Tripp disappear. Pausing for a second to toss the staff into the last remaining support pillar that was keeping the rest up and took off; stone crumbling around him as it began to collapse but he was out the shop, hearing the stone continue to crack, the ground shaking if a little before the evident sound of the barbershop collapsing in on itself.

Fitz opening the door to the van.

" _Go_!" Coulson shouted, the adrenaline rom the effects of the staff still pumping through his veins.

It took a while for him to calm down, his hands shaking a little. They had parked up half an hour ago but took off, Trip no doubt giving the science twins the run down on his behaviour. Skye was sat with him, not saying anything which he appreciated but he needed this moment of quiet.

Elliot Randolph had been right. The Staff was a horrible thing. The anger and rage… that wasn't him. Not when that had made him kill his friend; _that_ anger wasn't the staff but it was too similar for any sort of comfort. He didn't want to think on her, not yet. He didn't _want_ that distraction… not yet. Not when he was so close to defeating Garrett…

"You okay?" Simmons's voice asked quietly, he head turning a little to look at her.

"No." He answered, "But we need to get on the move. Skye's in the system now so we can work with that."

"I can locate the Bus, I've tag a tracker into the bings I get from Hydra networks, including on the bus so _yay_ for that." Skye answered, flashing Simmons the screen. "The bus, deathlok who also happens to have a direct link to the cybertek control station from his eye… Computer systems. I can even message deathlok but I know there's a catch to that. Can't take control without revealing my presence and could result in exploded brains of the solders since i can't stop their direct access"

"You can, once you've got the handlers away from the death switches." Coulson spoke up.

"You can brood _and_ plan at the same time?"

While he knew Skye was being humorous, it wasn't the time. "I have a lot of motivation."

Skye looked away a second then nodded, staying silent for him to carry on.

"We may be a team member short but I think we have a chance to defeat them. With Skye in the system… all we need to do is break into cybertek and shut the soldiers down at the source… perhaps have them help though I wouldn't bet my money on that so that's not the priority. Deathlok, however is a whole new story, being Garrett's guard dog."

"He's no loyal to Garrett out of his detonating eye." Skye spoke up. "Mike would rather have his brains fried then serve hydra."

"Ace?" Simmons suggested but Coulson knew that. Make would do anything for his son. Mike can't rescue him on the threat of death and made to comply if Ace was threatened, a simple hostage situation to increase compliance. Something that could extend to other workers but Ace was the important one.

"Yes." He nodded, pushing himself to stand up. "Time to suit up and get ready. Since we've only got one shot at this, I'll go over what I've propose so we all know what page we're on and it's crystal clear. Me and Trip can cross the ridge and use a noise maker from his grandfather's kit to grab a three-wheel or something with much more fireworks and open up a window for Skye and Simmons. You two crawl in grabbe the dealer and force his hand to get out Ace in the hole, then bob's your uncle."

"Roger that." Skye nodded, though reached out for the bullet proof vest he was holding out, passing it to Simmons who looked nervous but nodded as well.

"Ward will be in the area, given the situation; shoot to kill… or seriously maim. He's too good to defeat hand to hand by yourself. _Don't_ risk yourself." he didn't doubt Skye's abilities to be creative to get compliance but Ward was a trained agent and Skye didn't have that training like May had to defeat him. Simmons had no training at all.

"It's a huge gamble sir, but it works." Trip nodded.

"What about me, Sir." Fitz asked.

"I'll need you as back up, be the eyes and ears of the base. Skye can give you access to the feeds and you can help me locate Garrett."

"So stay on the plane?" Fitz looked put out, more annoyed about the fact.

"This isn't a discussion. I'm not even comfortable with SImmons going with Skye but I need her with her. If May was here…." he paused a little, "She'd be in Simmons's place. May's the one I need to defeat Ward and Garrett. Bt she's not here anymore so we only have the four of us. Skye _can't_ go in alone and I need Trip with me. Skye can protect Simmons, I know she has a plan. Skye will look like an easy target alone. Sending both you _and_ Simmons there makes it a higher risk of capture to force _us_ into submission. But if you can see the soldier, you can tell me where to find Garrett and ward… a way to expect the surprised waiting for us in New Mexico. I _need_ you here to do that job..." Coulson moved, placing a hand on Fitz's shoulder. "You don't have to like it, but it's the only plan we have."

He moved away after a second, and reached down into the box for a gun and began to distribute it to the others.

"We may be outmanned and outgunned… But Fury always said, a man can accomplish anything when he realises he a part of something bigger. A team of people who share that conviction… that can change the world." He took in a deep breath, straightened up. That talk always filled him with some hope. An thing to keep him going until this was all over.

Coulson could see the nods going around despite the uncertainty Fitz still had but if anything went wrong, then Fitz had a chance to get away. A man to tell their story… so to speak.


	18. The End, part 1

May kept the bug going loudly as she flittered around her room. Filling out forms and adding her new mug shot to them to the new name. Her SHIELD ID had been taken by Skye, no doubt Coulson had that so she had no SHIELD ID on her. She put all her Melinda May Identification into the safe including her phone.

May had been quick to buy a new one in, putting in the few SHIELD contacts in like Maria's, Her own Melinda name into the contacts list with her old number. Her mother's name under an alias… setting up her new alias life. Regardless of how things played out, she needed this new lease of life.

But the bug got her attention soon enough, listening to Coulson's voice as he spoke. The plan that had lots of holes and seriously worried her. But she could just about make it to the party

Though she was met with a problem. Her face. No nano mask. _Yet_. She didn't want Coulson to know she was alive, let alone in the same parameter. May didn't want to see him react to her being alive...to hear his apologies. She didn't need that… She didn't want to be Melinda May to him. Emily Chen/Althea Rice, she could. A fresh start so to speak to get her emotionally ready to face her remorseful killer without him knowing. She couldn't be Chen forever but it was something for now.

Maria had a good safe house, many more weapons to get her hands on though she went more the handguns concealed under the coat hanger shelves and in the wooden coffee table with their matching ammunition.

Making note of the location, May knew she would be skimming the timings, grabbing a bandana and beanie hat then made her exit.

She could get in once Coulson made the hole, Aid Skye to get to Ace and take on Ward. Ward thought she was dead. That surprise will no doubt be in her favour. If she died again, she could do it again to save both Simmons and Skye from a horrible death. If one of them saw her, then that was a risk… but they would respect her decision to stay hidden behind a mask. Surely.

Once in her vehicle, she took off, putting on her beanie hat and bandana around her neck to cover her face once there.

 **Coulson's feet crunched in the rocky surface as he bent down. It was an amazing view. The cybertec building surrounded by grassy hills and the distant mountains… the bus parked not far from the building and two other car parks.**

"Okay, what's on how shopping list tonight…" Trip muttered as he peered through his binoculars.

" There's a three wheeler over there…." Coulson suggested

"Here comes a humvee… That had better fire works." Trip answered, Coulson easily seeing the difference but his attention was caught new a new vehicle coming into view.

"Hold on.." He answered, adjusting the binoculars for a better look.

This was much better than a humvee or a three wheeler. Practically a tank… armored and armed, Guns and.. Well missiled. The fireworks they needed.

"Now that's what I'm talking about." Trip grinned.

Coulson lowered his binoculars as it parked up down the hill below them. Very convenient."you bring your noise maker?"

"Sir, I bring the noise and funk wherever I go." Trip answered, pulling out the noise maker from the depth of his rucksack and spun it around; winding it up before tossing it; both ducking a little incase the cybertek guards saw them.

 _ **'Hey -ho, friends, the enemy approaches, Careful now or they'll win the day.'**_

It was the distraction they needed, Coulson slid down towards the vehicle, he could see Trip approaching the guy near the motorbike parked up.

He waited for a second, seeing and hearing movement before the door opened and a man jumping out but he was ready, swinging hard and cracking against the other man's face; knocking him clear.

"Let's get going! He called to trip, jumping into the tanker, making sure no one else was lurking in the back before starting the engine. It still worked like a car so not hard to figure out how it worked. Trip slipped in behind him so he took off busting down the front gates.

They were met with gunfire but it was nothing to the bullet proof glass. Trip, pressed a vew buttons sending out the first missile to the shooters before he took a left onto a rough patch; making the drive very bumpy.

"You know where to put this next one." He said as they hit a clear road again. Trip didn't need to be told where… pressing a button and they both watched the missile shoot into the security wall, blowing it through in a second.

Skye and Simmons a good distance away to avoid both rubble and security.

"Nice work, Sir." Simmons called through her walkie-talkie "The window's open"

May could hear the sounds as she approached the cyber tec facility, her heart pounding in her chest. Stopping out of sight, she pulled up her scarf to over her nose, and stuffed her hair into her hat. She could hear a thumping only just seeing some soldiers punching at a large armoured van but pause but she carried on into the window. Pulling out her gun as she did so

May didn't have the luxury of a ICER, so she had to make do. If she killed the guards then she killed them… she didn't have the time to worry on it.

But she could hear the sounds of feet in mass down the stairs, taking the lift instead and jammed straight to the floor she needed, gun out ready incase, creeping into the corners to see Simmons duct taping a backpack onto the dealer's body as Skye looked waved the last few people out but she took her chance to sneak into the room, hiding behind the security desk, waiting a moment before into the room since the glass windows wouldn't conceal her.

It surprised her mostly but she felt… proud to see them pulling it off. But for how long, that was the main thing. Ward or any trained soldier could turn the tables. That bag wasn't a bomb, they didn't have one, it was a bluff but a good one.

"Fitz, you linked in?" Skye called into the walkie-talkie

" _Yeah, also ran a look on the permenteranter, Coulson should be able to get to where Garrett is from the factory's back entrance in the south side."_ Fitz called in, May only just hearing his reply and a flicker of Coulson's voice but she paused behind the desk cubicle walls as she head footsteps, much heavier but she immediately recognized the breath.

A flash of anger and hate filling her veins.

"I have to hit 'snooze' on this, to keep that from blowing." Skye's attention shifting to the dealer but missing the steps. May's hand tightened on her gun, waiting till his shadow to pass before silently moving behind him. It's be so much easier now; a single shot but she wanted to fight the rat-bastard. She needed to. He set her up to die…. And succeeded. But he thought she was dead. Why not scare the shit out of him as well…

"She's not going to kill you." Ward spoke, Skye and Simmons both turning to him, Simmons's gun raised but May knew if she fied, Ward would fire and kill Skye.

May moved again to a break in the walls, a perfect waiting stop to take on the bastard to get what he deserved though she could hear him talking.. Almost stalling. She was only hoping when she popped up, she wouldn't get shot by Simmons.

"You won't detonate the bomb, you'd go too." She heard him saying, though he was very close to Skye now but… in the right position. There was a door that would provide the cover she'd need.

"If that's a way to rid you and you're Nazi friend off the face of this earth…" Skye started but May made her move.

She pushed herself forwards, punching Ward straight in the face, moving back only to immediately shove him into the door, the surprise in her favour. She only just heard the sounds of surprise from both Skye and SImmons but she knew; if someone was fighting ward, she was on their side.

Ward shoved her back, swing back back to his feet. But she darted away, going for an electric saw… so many tool around the developing room.

May yelped as she felt a blow to her back with something hard but she started up the saw, kicking back; hearing his grunt of pain as he was forced to go down on his knee but she whipped around, cutting through the board like pie but he swung for her arm, slamming the saw into the metal wall. The shock was sent straight up her arms, stunning her for a second but she felt the wire of it suddenly around her throat, the bruises of Coulson's hand still marking her neck.

Her heart picked up, terror seizing a second into her stomach getting the momentary flash of Coulson's hand around her neck as the pressure was applied.

"Who are you?" Ward growled into her ear, his hand crawling to her scarf but his voice broke her out of her freeze, shifting her weight to throw him off, pulling the cord away, letting out fast breaths but her beanie was off, moving away from Ward to regain some momentum before attacking at him again, slamming his head against the wall but he threw her back.

May hissed as she landed on some sort of table, almost winding her but she certainly saw the mechanical Saw, Ward's hand grabbed her wrist, slamming it on before his weight was on top of her, her other hand came up but he pinned that back against her cheek, trying to shove her face-first into the spinning blade.

"Who are you?" His fingers holding her hand yanked down her scarf but that allowed her to take in proper breaths… her eyes watching the look of surprise through his face.

"You're dead." He stated but his hands had relaxed in his surprise, slamming her knee up into his balls. His face turning red but she shoved him off.

"I know." May answered back, jumping off the table

Staggering from his nut-kick, May took advantage.

" _You set me up_ " She hissed, punching him across the face. " _You got me killed._ " She backhanded him next. " _ **Never. Again**_." She struck him again but he twisted her arm and punched her across the face, she stumbled back before he grasped her hair, yanking her head back then slammed her against the wall which crumbled, falling to the floor.

Heart still pounding, May pushed herself up but she gasped as she felt the kick to her stomach, rolling back but it wasn't until the second kick caused a reaction as the force rocking into her stomach; throwing straight onto the floor. But she used the second to see a nail gun, grabbing that and showing herself straight into his body, pinning him onto his back.

She didn't hesitate, firing the nail gun into his shoulder, so so tempted to fire it into his head… to kill him. Using it as a gun, she shot down into his thigh then aimed down to his foot. His yeps of of pain loud but satisfying before she ditched the nail gun, slamming her fist down across his face and against his throat but May watched as his eyes rolled back, falling limp.

Breathing heavily, May stared down at him. Adrening making her hands shake but he was down. Skye and SImmons were safe for the rest of Coulson's plan to be done….

"May?" Echoed a voice behind her


	19. The End, part 2

Getting into the building had been easier with Fitz's help, soldiers long gone to garrett. He had picked up the Noise maker on his way so he began winding that as he could hear Garrett's voice talking to deathlock before he tossed it out of sight, hiding near some large cylinder canisters'.

 **'Hey -ho, friends, the enemy approaches, Careful now or they'll win the day.'**

"Check the parameter." Garrett called to Mike who immediately walked off. Taking his chance and darted towards the ususpecting hydra agent.

"Hi, John." Catching his attention before punching him straight in the face but he was surprised Garrett kept his balance and straighten up.

"Hey, Phil." He grinned, drawing his hand back but Coulson couldn't move in time to avoid the fist, surprised as he was launched back towards the canisters, pain radiating down his face and the trickling sensation down his head.

"Ow…" He hissed, pushing himself up more, a little disorientated, "Well...that's new."

' _Sir, you alright?_ ' Fitz called through.

"Garrett's got super strength, _that_ wasn't listed on his file." Coulson spoke, pushing himself forwards for his gun on the floor though a pair of shoes seemed to stop , catching his attention, a momently fear it was a soldier until he looked up into the familiar face of Nicholas Fury.

"Sir?!" Over garrets super strength and Fury standing there… today was no doubt evening up on both sides.

"You don't have to call me sir, Coulson, Look at me. I dress like I live under a bridge." Fury stated, his hands in his pockets.

"What are you doing here?" Of all the things Coulson knew Fury could have been doing, being here seemed less likely.

"I managed to get Maria's help, she had intel and an asset and we caught that hacker's mapped system so traced it to here where the bus was."

That made Coulson's mind flicker back to the Agent Rice/Chen for a moment. Though sudden gunshots made him flinch a moment, pushing himself up.

"I also went to great pains to make sure you didn't die the first time too."

Coulson straightened up, taking in a deep breath. "I know this isn't the best time, but I really want to have a lengthy conversation to you about that… It could get loud." He had a lot on his chest… a lot. _Including_ May's part in it.

"I know, I owe you that but first, we owe Garrett a punch in the teeth wouldn't you say."

Coulson nodded but watched as Fury swung out the familiar Destroyer Gun he had used on Loki.

" _This_ packs a pretty good punch."

"I know what it does." Coulson didn't hesitate to take it from him. Turning it on. The gun roared as it activated.

Feeling confident, and not hearing any shots, Coulson moved around the canisters and fired at the centipede soldiers that seemed to have flooded the room when he and Fury were talking. Coulon managed four shots before the power died but the soldiers were down, leaving Garrett standing but there was only a second before gunshots were fired, Garrett's body jerking with each shot, falling to his knees.

There had been a long pause, waiting for Garrett to topple onto his front dead but instead, Coulson watched in bemusement as Garrat raised his head. He and Fury looked at each other, not expecting that for sure.

"That's _also_ new…" Coulson answered, looking back to Garrett.

"Fury? Ha, well I'll be…" Garrett chuckled, pushing himself up. "I did not see _you_ coming, but hell, It's sure as hell gonna be fun; when was the last time anyone saw a tag-team wrestling match with four dead guys.?"

Coulson huffed with a sneer, "I only see one dead guy in here, John."

"Oh don't worry, The powers all on my side of the room, guys." He answered, as if comment on the colour of his shirt, not worried even. Something felt off about him.. He was..different. He would have been _more_ concerned that Fury was even _alive_ and _here…_ "But Phil, I'm surprised you'd try and stop me… Though I don't blame you, Nick. You haven't seen the big picture, the big bang… But Phil has...we share a bond. We're-"

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Coulson snapped.

"You didn't tell me he had gone _nuts_." Fury said with a frown.

"I was enlightened… the GH formula-"

That said it all.

"Let me guess, there was an accident with your Implants and took a desperate measure." Coulson interrupted.

"One of my men dropped an EMP, but I'm glad he did; my eyes have opened and i saw the universe-"

"Okay, you can _stop_ there on the mumbo-jumbo bull." Fury interrupted this time.

"He's _really_ stepping it up a notch" Coulson sighed to Fury, shaking his head. Garrett snorted and looked to Deathlok, signaling to aim.

' _Sir, I got Ace.'_ Skye called though on the comms but Coulson didn't answer but it made him smile, Deathlok would be on Garrett very soon. Trip had gone to get government forces so the'd be more back up soon enough.

"Okay, this is getting boring…" Garrett sighed, nodding for Mike to shoot

"You're telling me." Fury quipped though in the corner of his eye, he could see Mike's head twitch to the side, a message coming no doubt, through before his head turn to look at Garrett before swerving around and blasting him in the chest; Garrett flying back into a wall.

Though that couldn't help but startle him a little, but it was what they needed. Mike was free. Deathlok on their side.

"You… you can't do this..!" Garrett wheezed out, "Stand down!" Smoke billowed more from his mouth, pushing himself to move.

"You can't order him, Mike's free to do as he pleases." Coulson called, watching as Mike began to approach Garrett who pushed himself to a gun from an unconscious soldier but Mike go to him first, but Coulson couldn't help but flinch at the sickening sound of bone crunching. His hand twitching in response before he clenched his fist. Not allowing his mind to venture down _there_...

"Think he learned his lesson." Fury probed, distracting him.

"Well, he definitely learned something."

But it was over now. A relief. But Ward came into mind. Skye… Simmons!

"Simmons, what's the Ward situation?" He called through.

" _Ward's down."_ Skye called through

"Dead?"

" _No."_

He frowned, tilting his head, waiting for an elaboration. " _A woman. I think it's Agent… Rice. or Chen I don't know which one she's names going for."_

"Althea Rice? What the hell is she doing here?" He felt Fury's look to his face, shifting around.

"I told her to." He answered. Coulson's attention was on him.

"What?"

"You were down an agent- Maria told me- and I made an alternative arrangement with what assets I had left." Fury answered with a mild shrug

"She's working for you?"

"No, she works for _you_ now but… _her_ conditions."

'Sir, military personnel are entering the Parameter."

"We'll talk about this later," Coulson said, his voice tight, irritant with the turn of events. "You're dead to the world, you need to get going."

Fury nodded before disappearing off though Coulson stayed put, waiting now for things to be cleared up.


	20. Setting up

May froze, her breath paused. She recognised the voice… of all the people she expected to have lingered, SImmons wasn't that person. Except now…

May took a deep breath in, pushing herself up and turned to face the women. Her eyes were wide, her mouth fallen open… not quite believing her eyes. "But...but.."

"Take a breath." May advised after a second. Simmons's hand twitched to her ear, pulling out her comm.

"But… You _died_."

"You say that like it was an accident." May couldn't help but quipped before shaking her head, closing her eyes. That was mean… but her death wasn't an accident.

Simmons moved forwards; her hand gripping her shoulder, but the movement towards her made her flinch, especially with her hand close to her neck. "How…."

"Long story."

Simmons didn't answer for a long moment, taking a few deep breaths but she could see tears in her eyes. "I thought.. I just…" She sniffed. "I _watched_ it… I watched you _die_ on the monitor."

"SImmons's I'm okay." May could see the younger women had pent up those emotions.

"Coulson.. I didn't think he could _do_ that… even to you." Simmons's heaved a shaky breath in. May could see she was about to have some sort of break down for she pulled the women into a rare hug before SImmons started to cry softly, her arms wrapping around May's middel, making her hiss a little, flaring up the pain in her side from her first death; reaggregated from her fight with Ward…. His kicks hurt.

Simmons pulled back as soon as she heard. "I'm so sorry!"

"I'm okay, Simmons, Look at me."

Simmons did, staring up to her face before something crossed her face as her eyes flickered to the bruise on her forehead "You were there at cybertek.. I saw it! You got shot!" she realised, her hand coming to her mouth, eyes widening again. "You took that bullet for me!"

"Yes, I did." Sugar coating it could be a good thing for now… she didn't have the _time_ for this.

Simmons's bit her lower lip, taking deep breaths, wiping her eyes after a moment to compose herself but could see she was still visibly upset.

"Why didn't you come back?" Her voice was quieter. "I missed you…We need you. Coulson… he's torn up on what he did."

"I don't care on how he's feeling on what he did to me. He did it. I died. I came back. I'm only here is because.. I know this teams still needs me. But… Melinda May is dead now." She was prepared to step into new shoes and live a new life. Melinda May… that part of her was dead now… or did she want that part to doe

"Althea Rice? Coulson knows that's an alias."

"I know. I have a plan."

"But can't you tell him you're alive, _please_." SImmons begged softly.

May shook her head, her hands gripping SImmon's arm tighter "No."

"May, _Please_."

"No, Jemma. I can't handle that. What he did…." She paused, lowering her scarf from around her neck, showing the hand shaped bruise. "It still killed me. The _trauma_ of death… You can't imagine… So _please._ Don't tell anyone who I am."

Simmons said nothing but nodded after a moment of thought.

"Don't tell Fitz or Skye.. or even Trip. I am Althea Rice. Or Emily Chen. _Melinda May is dead_." May repeated. "And if… _**If**_ on the off chance I'm ready to unmask my real identity to Coulson, then maybe Melinda May's ready to come back, Got that?"

Simmons nodded glumly after a moment but she could see the woman understood. Making her feel deeply relieved.

"Good. I need to go now. Next time you'll see me, I'll have a different face so don't freak out when you see me."

Simmons nodded again, taking a deep breath, wiping her face and straightened up "Good luck." She said.

May gave her a smile, pulling the scalf back up over her face. "You too." She replied before taking her leave quickly, hearing other footsteps.

Getting out the building was harder than it looked, military people were searching through the rooms. While she knew suicide was a way out, she didn't want to kill herself or get shot in the back. This strange immortality or not, bullets _hurt_.

With Garrett gone and Ward now… she had done her job. But with no nano mask, she couldn't greet Coulson face to face.. If she could stomach the idea of being in the same room as him… she had no intentions to relieve herself to him. Not now. Too soon. The wounds inflicted were still too...raw.

"You know, Agent May, the dead don't usually beat the crap out of hydra thugs." Came a familiar voice as she clambered over an frence. May paused in her step, taking a deep breath before pulling down her scalf as she turned to face the former Director of SHIELD.

"Same could be said for you, Fury." She replied back.

"Touché" There was a flicker of amusement that touched his lips before he straightened up from the side; getting to business.

"What do you want, Sir?" She asked but she had a fair enough hunch.

"I told Coulson that I ordered you here… and that you work for him now." He stated, getting to the point. "Maria caught me up on everything; including this… power of yours. And what Coulson did."

Her hand drifted up to her neck as he said that, shifting uncomfortably.

"I also told him you had conditions upon joining."

May shook her head softly. "I can't… "

"Look, he doesn't have to know it's you. I don't have the trums of being killed; only being attacked in death attempts, over and over again by people and by friends. While I know what Coulson did was bad… on lots of levels. He does need you; even as someone else. He trusts my judgement to let you in with little fuss."

"I can't. Not with my face."

"I have what you need, May. Nano mask equipment. A new face and voice print…" He kicked something by his feet; making a metal clang to see something uncloak; a large black case

"Maria said it'd take _days_ to get."

"Yeah, well I pushed it along. I knew you couldn't resist coming and helping him."

May said nothing, folding her arms, her eyes drifting down to the box.

"I'm not the director of SHIELD anymore. But… I need someone to build it back up." He started, changing tatic. "I need Coulson to do that. He's a good agent. But he needs you as a back bone. As Emily Chen… Althea Rice… or as Melinda May. His hacker girl, Skye, she's good. Coulson played a risky card in keeping her around; I saw her as a risk but she's a woman true to her cause. But she's no field agent. Not _yet_." Fury answered.

May knew what he was playing at. "Simmons's knows about me. But I don't want anymore people to know."

"They won't unless you tell them otherwise…." he shrugged, not concerned in that respect. "But I will now give you the options. You can take the nano mask equipment and be on your way back to that safe house. But Coulson will find that bug soon enough. You know that. Or… You can come with me now; mask on or not; up to you. To the Bus. Once the facility is taken, Coulson will want to have..talk with me. If you're coming then this is… an introduction to new start as someone new; an agent of SHIELD than some vigilante that hiding from your own organisation."

May chewed her bottom lip. Trust Fury to have a way with words.

"There's a new base I'm going to direct him in; it should be attique to fit SHIELD's needs until you're ready to grow. I have shield agents waiting to be in contact with Coulson when he takes up the position. This base is… far from your place of rebirth. I think it'd be wise to tell Coulson about this if he grows suspicious."

"He'll only make the connections of my re-births to my Melinda murder. I disappear after my death."

"Maybe, maybe not. But consider all your options, evaluate them then make that decision." He straightened up, no doubt ready to go. "So, before we're both seen alive; You need to make that choice. I can cover for you, of course if you come."

May sucked in a deep breath, closing her eyes a second. She had been balancing out the ideas but… Fury was right. How'd she get into the new shield if she walked away now? Going with him.. That was the best course of action; even if it meant jumping in the deep end with her killer... but former friend.

"I'll come with." She decided. "But you already knew that, didn't you."

Fury's lip twitched a little before he nodded. "You know what needs to be done."

May rolled her eyes but nodded to the box, watching as he bent down and open it up.

"There's an instruction manual to read at your own time if you damage the mask and need a replacement." He started though she looked to see the clear plastic film with a flatten transparent holographic picture ready and waiting.

May reached in and pulled it out. "Place it in the palm of your hand and put it against your face to put it on, It'll stick to your face like glue till you deactivate it. It's easy to ignore and is safe to wear underwater; it won't peel off so don't worry on that. Just don't press your face against an electrical wire; other wise it'll fry and mask _to_ your face."

"Duly noted." May remarked, doing as instructed before lifting the mask to her face. It was odd, almost lifted plastic wrap film to her face but it seemed to have it's own life after htt, fitting to her skin like a glove and the plastic seemed to mold perfectly yo her face before it opened up around her nostrils and lips, curing a little to the edges of her lips but even then the film seemed to smoothen out… her tongue not finding an edge to it. May blinked, licking her lips, her fingers coming to her face as she felt a flicker and slight sounds; the mask no doubt in working order.

"This is...odd." But even her voice was different as she spoke, making her blink a little. She had expected it but it threw her off a bit.

"But it works. Youll get used to it."

"Can I sleep with it on?" Wearing it 24/7 would be ideal. So no one would suspect.

"Probably." Though that wasn't much of a concern. Bending back to the machine, May closed it up.

"Let's get going…" She sighed, with her new face… she could do this now..


	21. New director

Coulson stepped onto the Bus, relieved to see Fitz hovering in the cargo hold, sorting through some of the hydra boxes and files.

"Sir." He exclaimed, relieved to see him when he saw them. "Fury up in your office… and some women. Agent Rice, I think."

Coulson paused a little, his head tilting. While he didn't doubt Skye's words, he hadn't expected her to linger… so far she had proven herself to be a mystery woman. Like Fury. So meeting her now… that'd definitely be interesting.

"Okay, Thank you Fitz." Coulson nodded moving past him. "Have Skye to put Ward in the interrogation room then go through our systems… make sure this plane can't be traced and pack what we can. We're wheels up as soon as the others get onto this plane."

"...err. Yes sir." Fitz's voice wavering with uncertainty but at which, he didn't care to ask. He had a bigger priority; two, actually in his office.

Climbing up the stairs, he took his time. Part of im a little nervous to get the weight off his chest… to scream and shout to the man who tortured him to keep him alive… ignored his desire to die… But while it wasn't about Chen/Rice; he wasn't sure if he was even comfortable sharing that with her.

He sighed deeply, reaching the top of the stairs towards his office and paused; hearing two voices; recognising Fury's easily. So he paused to over hear them.

" _Chen, you're gonna rip that off if you keep twirling it."_

 _"I'm nervous, Nick."_

The woman's voice wasn't what he was expecting; it was rough… having a strained quality to it as she spoke.

 _"I know you are. But we're gonna be in the air soon."_

" _Yea… ten guesses on who's gonna take off."_

There was a soft chuckle. " _The bus does have the autopilot to do that._ " There was a pause. " _Let's just see what happens."_

Coulson sighed but decided to make his presence known, walking the last few steps and into his office. He immediately noted Fury by his desk but his eyes went to the standing woman by the window.

Shorter than what he had imagined… her dark hair mostly tucked away in a beanie hat though apart from a lock she was fiddling with but what stood out most about the women's appearance was the dark bruises on her forehead. Had she been hit with something? But when she turned to look at him; he could see bruises around her neck.. While mostly covered by a scalf, they were definitely fresh, not doubt the reason to her strained voice. Ward's work no doubt.

"Fury." He nodded to, then back to the women, "Is it Agent Rice or Chen, hard to know which one you're going for." His voice cool, calculating even

The woman was staring at him for a long moment, but he could see she was thinking with a lot of emotions flicking through her brown eyes, but her posture was stiff. But she came back to reality with a shrug, looking to Fury a second. "Whichever more comfortable."

"Chen, it is." He decided, not going to press on that for now. He was tired and wanted to get to the point… but he could now get a proper read on her now she was in front of him. He stared at her for a moment longer before turning his gaze to Fury.

"Sir, Trip, Skye with Ward in tow." Fits called through.

"Agent Chen, you know how to fly, right?" Coulson asked, the woman nodded though he was glad she got the hint, walking quickly past him and out his office though he waited until he couldn't hear her footsteps before speaking. "Why her? Why now?"

Fury didn't look all that surprised at his questioning, instead just sitting back more in his seat. "You needed the help, and her skills."

"Yes, but you could have sent her _before_ things went south."

"I didn't know she was needed until after." Fury's eyebrow rose. "As I said earlier; Maria caught me up on everything. Without Agent May, there's no one who can help in the same manner. Chen is… well enough qualified to take her place."

Coulson's emotions spiked, "Take her place?" He echoed, gritting his teeth.

"Someone has to replace her position. May was your right hand man. May and Chen know each other well. They're…. similar in a lot of ways." Fury pushed himself to sit up more.

"I don't trust her." Coulson stated. "She's twitchy. I trust my gut to know she's hiding something."

"She's had a bad few days."

The tone of his voice was different, like he knew why. Coulson didn't answer but felt the rumble of the Bus as they began to take off.

Sensing he wasn't going to talk, Fury sighed deeply, almost aspirated. "Chen was… stuck in a bad relationship that went south when shield fell. Only some of those bruises was from her fight with that hydra bastard, Ward. Chen's suffering from PTSD from that relationship…"

A frown fell on his face, the bruises did look… hand shaped. "He tried to kill her?"

"Almost succeeded. She will be closed off, and given how she reacted; you must remind her of her ex…"

Coulson's jaw tightened even more. While he could be sympathetic for her cause with that new information… it wasn't helping his trust issues. "Does she know about T.A.H.I.T.I.?"

"I enlightened her to it when I recruited her to the cause, yes." The subject shifting away from Chen's personal life. Though Coulson knew it about time to talk about the main subject… T.A.H.I.T.I.

It had all been bubbling up inside him for a long time since he remembered what had happened to him. He almost didn't know where to start…. There had been so much that had happened, even with the non related stuff that had clouded his attention. Shield's fall, Hydra… Garrett, may's death… The intel Maria gave him…

Coulson couldn't stop himself as he began to yell. "It wasn't fair Nick! You hardly had any right to go through with these procedures to bring me back, let alone re-write my memories on top of all of the trauma… " he started, going off.

Fury seemed to simply nod his way through it which annoyed him even more.

"It was stupid and Cruel! And even more stupid! You should have told me at least that May was there to keep an eye on me. Not wait for Fitz to find that phone! If I had known why, then I would have understood." he heaved, his knuckles turning white and he clenched his fists. "It wasn't fair to her! She was bound by your orders!"

"I did what i had to do to ensure she couldn't compromise your mental state by accident if you tried to get the information out. You would have reacted the same way if you knew sooner. " Fury answered smoothly.

"That's not the point!" Coulson snapped. "The TAHITI program wasn't a good idea. Tests showed you enough and I even told you that. The side effects… the fact I was apart of it. That wasn't fair to me. If I was gonna go loopy, i needed to know."

Fury just nodded though he could tell it wasn't in agreement, just acknowledgement of his words. "Memory replacement was the only course of action to ensure your sanity."

"But I was never meant to go through it! That procedure was break glass emergency only meant for the avengers should they get mortally injured."

"Exactly."

That Stumped him for a second, surprise over his face. "What?"

"I did what I had to do and I'm damn glad I did it too." Fury sighed, standing up. "It was only because of your death that truly motivated the avengers to weld together; to be a team. That had given you all the right to consider yourself one."

Coulson was lost for words, staring at him for a long moment them looked away. "I can't be." He answered

"Why not?"

He stayed silent a moment. Coulson hadn't ever considered himself to on par with the avengers…. But he felt he even lost that title now before he even had it. Not with what he did.

"If it's about May, then get your head out your ass." Fury answered. "She was dedicated to her job. Following orders. My orders. It may have cost her life but she did all of that for you. Yes, you may have killed her. A mistake to learn from. She gave her life to protect. That's a foundation SHIELD was built upon. To be rebuilt upon."

Coulson watched, blinking and Fury held out a small box to him. It took a moment before he could move and take it.

"What is it?"

"My tool box. To help you build it up again."

"To restart SHIELD?" Coulson's heart picked up a little more, starting down to this little cube.

"Before it fell, SHIELD was… full of moving parts. But agents like you...like Agent May… Chen even... where the heart. You..can now be the head." He answered. "Start from scratch, Take your time… and do it right." Fury pointed with emphasis on the last word but Coulson couldn't find the words.

His anger was gone… he had vented.. But now. He felt like he had a purpose to carry on. A drive. Something he could do to make up for what he did and to give the world what it needed to protect it. How could he refuse that?

"Chen will have your back and she will be in contact with me in emergencies. Other than that, you won't be seeing me for a while." Fury started, heading towards the door but paused. "There's no one else I trust to do this job."

Coulson managed to find his voice with a nod. "Thank you, sir." he breathed out. Though took a deep breath, looking down to the small ox he had in his hand, not quite believing what had just happened.

"What happens now, is up to you." Fury sighed, holding his hand out. "Director."

It took a moment but he nodded, with a soft smile and gently took his hand, accepting his new role….

 **Sorry it took so long; iabe had a very low muse and i have no laptop due am a softwhere issue so im up,oading this from my ipad, please inform me if the format is messed up.**


	22. Meeting the team

Driving the bus was odd, for some reason. Like she was treading on eggshells. It was quiet… she was alone. Something she knew she enjoyed. May had sat here hundreds of times before… so why now was that she felt like it was different?

Her hand came to flick a switch.

Maybe because now… she was a new person, so to speak. Was it that? Her eyes followed along the cockpit, landing on a few things she had left here...which wasn't a lot. May had like to keep it clean and tidy, no matter how long she had sat in the pilot seat for.

But this silence now gave her a time to think… Fury had done what he needed to do. He'd need to disappear for the time being… She was stuck with Coulson and her team. One of which really knew who she was, the others not so much. Longer she was here, there was still a risk of being found out to who she really was and all her efforts were for naught.

But Coulson truly believed she was dead.. But that'd leave an expectation onto her new Chen identity with her Melinda May past. Trust her to be in some sort of competition with herself. May shook her head lightly with a deep sigh.

But since she was no longer Melinda May… She'd have to change a few things so not to be too similar to her past. Probably no Tai chi in the mornings, though she could do more that in the afternoon so not to cut it out completely…

And her nano mask equipment! That'd be hard to hide. Especially if there were room checks. Her cover would be blown… wouldn't be too hard to escape either if she panicked. May's hand drifted to her throat, rubbing the delicate bruises. But that was hardly a way out...

"They told me your Ex did that." Came a sudden voice.

May yelped out, jumping visibly though barely stopped herself from swerving the entire plane. She whipped around to see Coulson in the doorway, arms folded over his chest, her fingers just pressing the autopilot before her body wasn't reacting to herself

Her heart pounded in her chest… her hands shaking and her head even spun for a second, the tips of her fingers felt tingly before she felt a shortness of breath as she tried to breath as panic seemed to flood her system, The moments before her death of Coulson's angry face seemed to flash in front of her eyes

It took a moment but May closed her eyes, trying to breath in deep, gripping onto the co-pilot's seat. She knew what was happening...but she had to get control over it...

"Chen!" She hear a new voice, opening her eyes to see Simmons's face in front of hers. "Take deep 'l be fine- what did you do?" Simmons addressed Coulson the last bit.

"Nothing, I just spoke to her. She was startled."

"You triggered a panic attack." Simmons grumbled but May closed her eyes again but it took a moment before she felt some control seem to be returned to her; her heart rate calming with each breath she took. She clenched her hand before relaxing.

"Okay, It's over now." Simmons said softly though felt her grip her upper arm, pulling softly. "You need a drink… food and a rest."

"I know.." May answered, taking charge and softly, pulling from Simmons's grip. "There's about 17 hours of fuel left, I can change the course of the autopilot of you have a destination." She spoke, almost annoyed at herself at how quiet her voice had gone speaking to him.

Coulson nodded but she could see the frown on his face but she let Simmons pull her away, not having her change the destination

May didn't speak for a while though walked beside Simmons, letting her take the lead into the mid section of the plane… She immediately saw Skye and Fitz sitting down at the sofas, talking though she saw them both look to her. May looked away after a second and walked towards the kitchen.

"I'll talk to them, let them to you one at a time." Simmons said though May shrugged.

"I don't mind them both coming to talk to me."

"You've just had a panic attack, M-Chen. You're traumatic experiences are too fresh to be overcrowded. Even with the other two." May looked sharply to SImmons, who almost slipped up on her name.

"I've had a panic attack before. I can handle it."

"It's a process you still have to go through.. Eat, Drink and Sleep. Doctors orders." Simmons said sharply then walked away, towards the other two.

May sighed deeply, though could hear Skye and Fitz immediately start talking; no doubt about her. Not a new feeling but something of expectation. She hadn't really planned much into it but now… She had mentally glossed over the facts. Skye would be most curious on her… so she'd have to have info to match her file. May knew she had put in her Chen file she had been in a relationship- not married. So her ex, could be settled for ex boyfriend or ex finance. Either would work as none would have any official documents.

Taking a look in the cupboards, she was surprised to see it stocked up though she checked the fridge to see there was some sushi meals there at the back. She dug them out and found some salads, water and a lime jello. Not the best meal but she hadn't realized how hungry she was… SO she probably needed to eat more if she was burning up energy via death. Who knew that was calorie crunching.

May put all her meal onto a tray though flicked the kettle on before she heard a small cough behind her, turning to see it was Skye. Unsurprisingly.

"Hello." May spoke after a moment.

"Hey…" Skye started, though May could feel her gaze. "Simmons said you had a panic attack…"

"I did." May answered, turning her back to make up her herbal tea. "What about it?"

"Nothing I was just…" Skye's tone had changed, a little affronted.

"Look, I know you're just trying to break the ice to talk to me, but I'm exhausted on many levels. I'd gladly talk to you later but in a better head space." May started, turning to look at Skye to say that giving her a soft smile.

Skye's expression soften but there was some understanding in her eyes.

"Thank you." May sighed, though a thought occurred to her. "One thing, do you know where I could sleep?"

If Coulson thought she was dead then there was a low chance she could sleep in her former bunk. She was not gonna be able to sleep out on the sofa either…

Skye paused, her eyes flickering to the bunks. "Err.. no. but you can borrow one… or we have a spare Bunk… it used to be Agent Ward's bunk but-"

"Any one is fine."

Wards one… she didn't like the idea but if it was a spare bed, she'd take it.

Skye nodded, then turned to the bunks with a jerk of her chin "Mine's the middle. Best to use that for now. Ward's one has yet to be cleared and I think Agent Triplet might be using that one." She pointed out.

May nodded. "Okay. Thanks." She poured the boiling water into the mug then moved from the kitchen towards the table closets and sat down but after a moment, she removed the scarf from around her neck to eat, keeping the beanie on. She could probably do with a hair cut… so not to look like her real self a little more.

May ate slowly, most due to the sensitivity of her throat still, draining her water but sipped on her tea slowly, rising to her feet. Replenishing her body's energy, it actually felt good. Though it highlighted how tried she was…

Barely bidding the others a word, She slipped into Skye's bunk though despite how weird that even felt, taking off her boots and lay on top of the covers though slid the blind of the window down to make the bunk fall into darkness. But it only took a few minutes to drop off into a uneasy sleep….


	23. Chen discussions

Coulson had been surprised mostly how Chen was affected by her Ex. He knew how she acted wasn't just some act; the reaction was too real. If she hadn't then he'd have to give her a reward for the acting but it made him uneasy at how _easy_ it had been. If he was to have her as a second in command, he couldn't have her going into a panic attack every time he made her jump.

While he wasn't an expert on mental health, he's need Simmons to keep an eye on her incase she got worse… maybe he needed to contact…

Coulon's thoughts stopped a moment.

Andrew Garner.

A good psychologist, they knew each other but…he was May's Ex husband. A complications. Andrew didn't know May was dead… neither did her parents… Coulson signed deeply. He'd not look forward to delivering that news… especially on the fact he had been the one that… _did_ it. Could he bring himself to tell the truth? Or Lie?

It was down to the moment, he supposed. But Simmons would no doubt keep an eye on her… get her what she needed before he could think of opening those wounds to a shrink.

Coulson moved down from the cockpit with a deep sigh, coming across Trip coming from Avonics.

"Trip, I need you to set a course to some coordinates." He spoke after a moment. Trip knew how to fly so setting a destination would no doubt be easy.

Trip nodded. "Sure but I saw that woman take us off, wouldn't she-"

"Agent Chen's resting. I triggered a panic attack so Simmons ordered her away from the controls." Coulson interrupted.

Trip looking to the way down towards the cockpit door. "Fair enough. I'll set it now." He moved past him, so Coulson gave him the coordinates before making his way from the passageway to the others.

He paused as he walked around to see Skye and Fitz,Simmons talking together. Not sign of Chen. Though that made him a little weary.

"How's everyone doing?" He asked as he came over, his eyes finally looking over the team in front of him. They looked okay, physically but he could see they were all tried and no doubt drained. It had been a long day.. They all deserved a good rest.

"We'll be making a decent in 8 hours." Trip called, bouncing into the area, "I think it's time we slept, right?"

Coulson knew the hint then nodded. "Where's Chen?"

The others but Trip looked to each other.

"My bunk," Skye answered, "I wasn't sure what you wanted to do with Ward's bunk… I assume Trip would want to take that."

Trip shrugged, "I might as well; and clear all that crap out as well. Want me to put it into storage"

Coulson just nodded though his gaze flickered to Simmons as Trip walked off int he direction of the bunks.

"How's Chen?" He asked her, folding his arms.

Simmons looked to the other two a moment who took the hint to move and sighed. "At the moment, she'll recover quickly from the panic attack once she rests but she'd not gonna be fixed easily. It won't be the first and only so… I'll prescribe her some medication to take like Antidepressants… Prozac maybe. If it gets worse then I may put her on a short term use of Ativan to deal with the anxiety."

"She's gonna be _that_ bad?" He questioned.

Simmons shook her head immediately, though he could see she was shocked on what he said, he knew he had phrased it wrong. "No of course not, but please take in account that she's surrounded by at the triggers constantly… It's gonna be an emotional process and she struggles with that.. She's putting on a front to make sure we don't see how affected she was. She's.. Well _terrified_. But she doesn't want pitty. That's not why she chose to come here."

Coulson sighed deeply.

"How can i deal with her without triggering a panic attack? I know I can't balance SHIELD and trying accidentally not scaring my new right hand into a panic attack." he asked.

"I don't know all her triggers.. I'd need to understand the depth of her trauma to get an idea of her limits. But… just understand her limitations. Make yourself known when you're in the room with her, keep at a 3 feet distance…. Don't touch her suddenly… that sort of thing that's most common with victims of physical abuse." Simmons said, though he could see Simmons look to Skye's bunk with a sympathetic look before shaking her head. "I'll do my best. I know she'll do her best to stay calm. She knows what to do to calm down."

Coulson sighed deeply. He needed more info on the attack that left her like this.. But given what had happened with SHIELD, he doubted Chen had managed to have time to file a report, let alone write it.

"Fine, write up her medical forms. I want her files, regardless." Coulson decided before walking off with a deep sigh. It wasn't the first time he had dealt with a woman with PTSD… but that was May. He had tried his best with her but she had wanted her distance until he dragged her ass back onto the Bus. But this woman, he didn't know. May, he did. And they were _two_ different traumas.

Skye watched with Fitz as Coulson walked away, Fitz hurrying to SImmons though she stayed where she was. They had been far enough to only hear bits and pieces but Skye had heard enough.

While being told by Chen that was needed to be in a better headspace before they could properly talk, she could see this older woman had a lot of personal issues...withdrawn… Maybe starting with the panic attack conversation wasn't the best ice breaker; at least Chen didn't fixate on it. She could think of new things to talk about.

Looking to her bunk now, Skye moved towards it quietly. Something she'd have to bring up with Coulson. Bunks. While they had 8 hours till touch down; if they needed to fly again then May's bunk…it would needed to be used, Probably by herself or Chen. But bringing that up with Coulson would be hard, especially how mixed feelings he was with May as a subject. Chen was still an unknown variable.

Skye paused, listening out; tuning out the quiet murmurs of the scientists. Though after a moment, she grasped the handle of her bunk door and opened it up a crack with enough space to look in. Chen was facing the door, so she got a good look to her face… the bruises she saw earlier much harder to see in the dark though she could tell by the stiffness of her sleeping form; she was not sleeping easy.. A slight frown on her face too.. Her breathing was faster though obviously asleep.

Skye closed it up after a moment then walked away, she didn't want to accidentally wake her up… She looked like she had needed to rest after all.

 **Sorry, this isn't the longest chapter, more a filler one but Next one should be a little more interesting. Please comment! I love reading them and it really inspired my muse for this story!**


	24. The Playground

Sleeping hadn't been easy, May found as she stirred awake. She still felt tired… Her body though felt better than her head but only by a bit. Opening her eyes, May looked around the bunk. Skye's bunk. Her hand felt the side of the plane wall, finding the blind for the window and pushing it up.

May let out a groan as light hit her in the eye; making her look away for a moment before she adjusted to open them again. Peering through to see the soft light of clouds. Day break….

May pushed herself up, twirling off the bed and opened up the door softly and popped her head out. It was quiet.. So people were asleep. Her eyes followed about, before falling onto Skye's sleeping form on the sofa, curled up under an emergency blanket. It made her smile softly.

Turning to the kitchen. May opened up a cupboard. Her hand immediately reaching to a breakfast Skye liked before May realised.. She wasn't supposed to know Skye or what she liked. Mentally scolding herself, May opted to grabbing bread slices and popped them into the toaster. Everyone liked toast so it was an easy assumption to go for.

She popped them up a couple seconds early and buttered them, snagging a banana on her way and headed over to Skye who was stirring; no doubt picking up on her movement. She placed the plate down on the coffee table and sat herself, opening up the banana to nibble on; not having a huge appetite.

In the corner of her eyes, she watched as Skye wake up, turning to look at at as Skye rolled around and see the plate, then look around for her.

"For me?" She yawned, pushing herself up.

"Well.. I nicked your bed for the last couple of hours…" May started, "Seems fair i get you food. I wasn't sure what you liked so.. I got a neutral food."

Skye pulled the plate onto her lap, though she could see the smile on her tired face. "Thanks."

"Likewise." May chuckled, tearing off the top of her banana and popped it into her mouth, chewing softly with a deep sigh, leaning back

"Have a good sleep?" Skye asked after a moment, digging into her toast.

May shrugged. "Not really. Better than no sleep, i suppose." Though she could feel Skye watching her though didn't look to her.

It was odd, small talk… Was that going to have a new thing for her? May hoped not… but if it was going to be part of her Chen personality….May sighed deeply, tearing off more of the fruit.

"15...min.. Till touch down." Trip yawned as he wandered in.

"I can land if you want to rest." May offered, his attention shifting to her though she watched him assess her for a long moment.

"I don't think we've properly introduced." He held a hand out. "Antoine Triplett."

May looking to his hand a moment then reached out and shook it. "Emily Chen."

"I thought it was Athela Rice…? Fitz did mention Chen…"

"Alias." May answered.

"I thought it was Althea…" Skye mumbled, putting her empty plate on the side and rose to her feet, brushed off the crumbs.

Trip looked to Skye a moment then chuckled. "Hey, I only heard the name once, but I'm tired as hell so I'll take the next 13 minutes to have a cat nap. Talk to you later, y'all." He fist bumped against Skye's shoulder and headed into Ward's bunk.

"Has he been there all night?" May asked after a moment, her eyes lingering on the bunk door as it slid shut.

"No… but he stayed awake to make sure we stayed on route."

May nodded though she saw a movement on the spiral stairs to see Coulson's feet as he began walking down. May stiffened a little, taking in a deep breath but bent down and picked up Skye's plate to wash up.

Her senses becoming very aware of him as she could hear him move down towards them… towards her.

May spared him a look as she washed the plate. "Morning." She spoke after a moment, knowing he was trying to figure how to talk to her; no doubt uncertain, given last time's attempt.

"Agent Chen…" He started. "We never properly introduced. Sorry for...startling you last night.".

May turned after a moment, her fingers wrapping around a kitchen cloth to dry. She gave him a nod. "It's...okay. I was.. lost in thought. I didn't realise I would...react in that manner." With was a truth. She had expected to be uncomfortable… on edge even but not a panic attack.

Coulson nodded, though she could feel his gaze… especially when it lowered down from her face.

" I don't know the details of what...happened. So I'll try to be open minded." He started, nodding his chin but she knew what he meant; her hand going to her throat, the skin sensitivity making her shiver a little. "But you'll need to work with me, Fury's assured you can be trusted… but I have the gut feeling that you don't trust me."

So he had caught on. Hardly surprised her. Her tongue was tied for a moment.

"I'm...trying." May started. "It's just..hard. I know you're not like… _him_. But…subconsciously you scare me. You look a lot like him."

But she'd need to get a picture.. at some point to convince him...It's be hard. Who looked like Coulson to begin with?

Coulson nodded softly, his jaw a lot tighter.

"It's still early days, Sir." She hurriedly answered, "I'll do my best. But we're almost touching down so I'd like to jump onto the stick..make sure we land."

"Okay." he answered though she knew this conversation was far from over. _Great…_.

May wiggled past him and hurried towards the cockpit, letting out a deep sigh as she closed the door. Feeling some relief to be away from Coulson.

Checking over the equipment, May noted the coordinates; the location of the secret base… looking out the window she could see the empty lands so… underground no doubt… but they'd need to call in.

May flicked open the communication channels though it didn't take long to find an open one that was received.

"This is SHIELD 616, requesting to land. Over" She called through.

There was a long moment, hearing nothing but white noise.

"This is SHIELD 616, requesting to land. Over" May repeated.

 _"Er, SHIELD 616, Identify yourself and passengers."_ Called a voice finally through.

"Agents' Emily Chen, Phil Coulson, Skye, Fitz, Simmons and Antoine Triplett. Also we have a prisoner on board for questioning in containment." She called through.

There was a second silence. _"Request approved. Hangar doors will open, Descent slowly. I'll meet you on base"_

Looking out the window, she could finally see it. A small building but the ground opened up not too far, Taking the plane from auto and began to descend slowly the hanger doors much slower but they were hovering until the doors were far enough to go down. Finishing the landing procedures, she turned the engines off and left.

Walking through the plane, Simmons and Fitz were about, though she only saw the back on them heading down, catching up quickly.

"An agent is here, they'll meet us out the plane." May called as she descended down the spiral stairs.

"Let's hope so, don't want to explore a empty base alone." Skye chuckled though Coulson hit the cargo hold button. There was a long moment of silence, just watching the door go down but May hid her surprise to see who was waiting on the other side; the others didn't though she was aware 'she' had met Eric Koenig.

"Eric?" Skye asked hesitantly but the man shook his head.

"Billy." The agent corrected, his hand going to his lanyard. "Koenig, Agent of shield. Though i totally understand the confusion but.. Eric passed away. Sadly." Koenig sighed though he seemed chipper. "But it's nice having the company, Finally. I call this place the Playground but.. Technically it shouldn't have a name since it technically doesn't exist but it's a secret base and all.. So." He shrugged off his finish.

Coulson nodded. So did man's appearance was uncanny as well as his mannerisms but no doubt a twin perhaps. Twins were similar….

"Agent Coulson." Coulson stated after a second, as an introduction to fill the gap.

"I know, i know and it is an _honor_ to meet you, Sir." Billy smiled hurrying forwards and shaking his hand, "I'll get your lanyard shortly. For the rest of you, lanyards will be handed out on a case by case basis." he added. "You can't be too careful with all those hydra threats we're up against...which is why we're here. To get you back and running and fighting a good fight which is gonna be cool." Billy looked out the cargo hold a moment. "I know we don't have much but what we have is yours, Sir."

"Thank you." Coulson smiled, his posture shifted though she could see he had some confidence he had lost back.

May couldn't deny, she felt a little more confident herself. They had a base of operations, supplies and no doubt a starting point for SHIELD. Even if they had a long way to go.

"Now, where shall we start?" Billy said, moving from the cargo door to the base..

The Playground… this was going to be interesting for sure.

May sighed deeply and began to follow...

 **Okay This is the end of the S1 phase of this book. I've conditioner putting the next on as a new story but I'll carry it on on this story. If I change my mind, I'll let you know.**

 **Also. I've put a link to a picture of the FC what May will use to show coulson her Ex, when that pops up. it's on my bio description.**

 **also thanks so much for the feed back! I appreciate it so much! Partly why this has gotten up so fast. Thanks to you. I look forwards to reading more**


	25. Authors notice: Book 2

**Okay, I have decided to create Book 2 for the second Season into a separate story than continuing it on. It's now published under the name Forever May. It'll continue there so I really hope you read onto that one as well. I'd appreciate any comments you give as well ad hope you enjoy it,**

 **Thanks.**


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